Ups and Downs

Lets just flat out say, God stinking amazes me! I don't understand His ways, but Oh, will I continue to give Him my heart. I'm learning SO SO SO much in my life right now! I feel like God was waiting for this time in my life! Its like I'm one of the disciples that Jesus said to, "Come follow me." Now, I have been a Christ follower, since I was 18, and I'm STILL learning! I feel like I'm just a beginner! Lately, I have been reading in James and now, Ephesians, and I have been learning so much about patience and what it really means to follow Christ. In this job, I guess I definitely hit a dry patch, Lindsey and I both. We love being partners with each other but, boy, are we physically exhausted. Speakers use to not be so bad for me, but now I"m like, "uhhh..HELP!" Yet, when I just surrender myself to God, when I come to the Lord, bow before him, exhausted, and sigh, "God, please help me. I miss home, I miss my friends, I miss my MOMMY!" He says, "Rise Jessie, I'm here, get up and go!" and then He gives me strength, like the paralyzed man Jesus heals that got up and walked with his mat out the door! Well, I walked with a speaker to the gym! LOL! Its amazing how much grace God has given me during this time in life. I have made many mistakes in my life and God used those as life lessons, how he used those filthy rags to bring me closer to Him. In both the books, "Starving Jesus" and "What's So Amazing About Grace?" that I'm reading, I'm really learning to see how Jesus came for sinners and not the righteous. The thing is, guys, the world expects us to have it all together, to have it all figured out, to disregard the "losers" and get what we want! We are greedy, selfish people who only look after ourselves. The thing is Jesus says to His disciples, "The greatest must become the least", "The last shall be first" As Christians, if we are going to show that we are Christ-like and actually live a life of Christ, we need to humble ourselves and become servants, last in line. Servants of God to serve people. Its opposite of what the world says. The thing is, the world shouts its standards as freedom but yet, think about how much you strive and strive to do it on your own, maybe you have done it on your own and you are on top and life is great..until something happens and everything comes tumbling down. Everything you gained..you lost! Then what do you do? You lost what you had! The thing is, Jesus says, "Whoever saves his life, loses it. But whoever loses their life, for my sake, will find it!" When we come to Christ, we find freedom! There is hope in every situation! There is NO situation in our life that there is no hope in Jesus! Look at the book of Job! He lost EVERYTHING..money, family, house, yet..he remained faithful to God and he was blessed twice more than he had! OUR HEAVENLY FATHER PROVIDES! I want to encourage all of us to get down on our knees and realize Who are REAL PROVIDER is! I was freakin out the other night about a job after this one, but I KNOW God will provide! I dont expect to be rich nor do I want to be. I only want to be RICH IN HIM! That's where my real treasure stands! I don't want anything else by my Jesus! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!! He is the Man of my life and always will be! I'm telling you, Come to know your Lord Jesus! I know he is "invisible". But that "invisibility" is SO much more than the "visibility"!