Hope during the uncertainty

Do you guys ever feel like you just don't know whats going to happen next? Maybe you're looking at your life and you are trying to maybe see what you have going for you and you don't even know what that is. Maybe it looks like nothing is ahead. Join the club! I was just telling my mentor, I think I have post-college depression. LOL. It seems like when I was in school, I somewhat knew what was going to happen next. However, I talked to a friend recently and she said, "What fun is it if we knew what was to happen next!"..I can see that. I guess part of it, I have that personality where I gotta make sure I plan ahead and I know what to expect so I can prepare. Now I hear God telling me, "Prepare? Don't I take care of you? Am I not the one who holds you in My hand? If I take care the birds of the air, do I not take care of you?" Oh...yeah. The thing is, and maybe you are in this place to, now that I'm home now from living in Cali for a year, Hawaii 7 months, my "adventures" seem gone. However, God wants me to see it as more of a beginning to another journey. I realized I define myself of where I'm at. I'm not going to lie, I thought I was super cool living in Cali, and Hawaii. Yeah, it was a blessed experience, however, a blessing should never define us. It is Jesus who defines who we are. I read in Experiencing God, "The question shouldn't be,'What is God's will for my life?' It should be, 'What is God's will?' Because once we know God's will, we can adjust ourselves to line up with what He is doing." I was reminded last weekend of something I been learning alot of in Hawaii..its denying self. Being selfish, is more exhausting then being selfless. Its easy to give away than it is to take. Its more effort in my experience. Following Jesus isn't an easy road. Its a hard road, but its a road that leads to love, which is hope, which leads to a life of abundancy, which leads to life with Jesus forever..literally never-ending. When we are in step with Jesus, following Him, we have all our needs taken care of. Yeah, it may be tested at time, but we have to have faith that we have assurance in Him. I know God's word has never returned void in my life..He always came through! Maybe not on my terms or on my timing, but He, who has the perfect timing, came through at THE PERFECT timing :) Be filled with hope, friends! He is with you!

God's grace stetches so far...

Last time I blogged on here, I was working with 9-12 year olds. However, now I work with 6-8 year olds. Now, let me tell you...I am really starting to get glimpses of how God sees us as little children. Its almost like at work, God replaces my eyes for His eyes to give me glimpses of how He views me. I love every single one of those kids. Some our good, and some have discipline problems, but I truly love them all the same. God really gave me a heart for all these kids and honestly, I have no idea why. Now, I worked more with High School students, and I hope to one day again, but right now, at least in this season, He wants me with these younger ones. I came home thinking the other day, "Man, how many times did I have to tell those kids, 'Quiet!' and they still weren't quiet." or, "How many times...(fill in the blank)." But then the Lord says, "Jessie, how many times have I told you not to gossip? How many times have I told you to speak up or be silent in this situation?" and so on and so forth. AHH!!! You guys, one thing I have been really convicted of lately is gossip and it seems like no matter where I am, I run into it. And honestly, guys have the problem with the physical lusting, girls have the problem with gossip because we love to talk. There are so many times at work or with my family it happens and I let myself get sucked in. HOWEVER...here is the most amazing part ever..I have conviction! Yeah it sucks, but I know the Holy Spirit is working within me because I know that is wrong. Its like you have a sliver in your finger. You got to get it out but it hurts while you are trying to. ITS A PROCESS! God is working on my heart to show me that I need to flee from gossip, and sometimes I don't even know if it is or not but he is giving me the wisdom to discern. The thing is, I look at these kids, and yeah I feel superior because I'm older. Yeah, I feel like I'm more mature. However, in God's eyes, we are still growing just like these little ones are. We still have a lot to learn. I don't care how old you are, never stop learning. Otherwise, you stop growing, and that's not good. You stay a toddler forever, mentally. God wants us to mature in our relationship with Him, and he will give us all the grace and help we need to do it. Just like a baby learning to walk, they fall down all the time but do you give up on them walking the first couple times they fall? NO! So, neither will God. If you continue to reach for Him, grab His hand, let Him help you, He will hold onto you! Know who your Heavenly Father is, who He really is, so that you know the Hand your holding.