God's Word is our daily bread...

So lately, well probably for this past month being here in Kauai, I have been in such a spiritual funk. I have been feeling so dry, literally I was just starving myself from the Word. I didn't have any motivation, nor desire to dig in the Word. I thought maybe if I just "talk to God" meaning, this one way conversation with only me talking, that would be good enough. I don't think so. To be honest, I'm still struggling with why God still has me here. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love Hawaii! I have met some awesome people here but I guess I don't know where my niche is exactly. So this past week I had a few blowouts but Sunday night was the biggest. During the day on Sunday, I was on the west side with some friends, having a cookout, swimming, getting eatin by waves pretty much, lol. The waves over there are so powerful and intense! Anyways, one of the friends I was with, Jon, was talking about why people drown in currants. He was talking about how when someone is stuck in a currant, they waste all their energy and time trying to fight the currant that they exhaust themselves and then they die. Rather than, just letting the currant take them to wherever it ends. You have a better chance of living that way. Little did he know, God used him to speak to me. God said Sunday night, "Jessie, you are fighting the currant. You are trying so hard to do things and live life here on your own that you are exhausting yourself to stay above the water." I have been trying to figure things out on my own, and making things work the way I think they should go. However, when we do that, we exhaust ourselves. Monday after work, I just dove in the Word. I had to whether i felt like it or not, and honestly I didn't feel like it. I believed the lie of, "Oh, I know whats in there but its not pertaining to what is going on in my life right now." Yeah, what a bluff! When I opened my bible, and even just read a couple verses, I began to realize how hungry I was. Its like when you think you aren't hungry but then you maybe eat a little bit and then you end up eating a whole bunch and realized you were starving?? Yeah, same with the Word! It felt so good to "eat" to be with my Jesus. To fellowship with Him and be at His feet. I just repented for trying to do this on my own and not involving him in my life. I was trying to do things for God rather than God helping me do things for him. We can not live this life on our own. We are made for relationship and especially relationship with God. Jesus loves you so much that in order to have a relationship with you, He died for you because you are SO worth it to Him. And God was able to go through the pain of seeing His son on a cross, crucified! Imagine someone you love so deeply crucified on a cross!! How horrifying is that! Whether its your husband, your parents, a friend, a boyfriend, girlfriend..whatever! Just know that God paid an ultimate price to give you life and He wants you to live it to the fullest by giving Himself to you. His ways are way better than our ways. I know a life living for Jesus is not always easy. There is friction against the world with it, there is sacrifice and hardship but that is because we were born in the a world where its all lies, and in order to get away from that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life! He is the only way to a true, abundant life worth living for. I want to encourage you to dig deep into the Word. Have a study session and have a conversation with God. If you want God to reveal Himself to you, He will. Just keep yourself open! :)

Life as we know it....

Wow, been busy lately, haven't had time to blog! So far on my journey of living in Kauai, its been going well. I mean, I definitely have my days where I'm like, "What the heck am i doing here?!" or "Wait, what am I here for?" or the other bi-polar side of "Dude this is so awesome!" or "OH YEAH! This is why God has me!" I mean just because this is Hawaii, people, doesn't mean it is in any way easy. I really miss my family and friends back home but just when I begin to freak out and cry, God reminds me of His word and promises. I found an apartment and I ended up getting it but I just pray that I can afford it! I mean starbucks has awesome benefits and all but I mean growing up, there is a lot responsibilities! But ya know, if God wants me out here, He will provide! If it doesn't work out, then I'll move on to the next thing He has for me. The other night, I was just really questioning why I was here and just crying out to God for dear help! I felt so weak, so helpless, I felt like I was ruining things. Sometimes out here, I feel like God has abandoned me. But sure enough, God comes in and reminds me that He has never left my side and that often, when I get in some stupid predicament, its a chance for me to learn and be humbled. So often, we think when we make a mistake, we think we are doomed. The world wants us to think that life can never "be fixed". Well, thats true, but when we have Jesus, he already "fixes" our life. We are made "fixed" through him. I hate when I mess up! I hate when there was "the better option" and I didn't take it. But you know guys, God works through our mistakes. Dude, ok so my dad sent me this awesome encouraging letter this week about getting through adversity. We can't let things stop us from getting to our goal, to where the Lord has called us. Now I'm telling you, when God calls us somewhere, its not going to be easy and sweet, its going to be tough sometimes. My friend Jeff reminds me when I'm homesick to remember why God calls me out there and he told me before I came here to hang on to what God said because when I come out here, things are going to get hard and I'm going to want to jet. Yeah, Jeff had that right, lol. But through the strength and grace of God and my awesome best friend, Jason who is here with me, I'm getting through this. I don't know exactly my purpose here yet, but I do know I came to minister and one of them is through singing. I don't know why but I believe that is what it is. Jason led an awesome bible study last night at church and it reminded me to exemplify, show my love for the Lord. Its about being genuine in our relationship with Him and other people. When we love someone, we show it! I'm so in love with Jesus that I want to show it! I don't want to be scared! What does man have on us? Oh, they will hate us? They will fire us? They will persecuate us? So what!? God is so much bigger than that!! I speak for myself here, too guys! Jesus wants to be apart of our lives! He has a better plan than we do for ourselves and its abundant...its filled with significant purpose! I know I mess up alot, but its so humbling and amazing to know the grace of God! This post might be kind of scattered in topic but I pray the Holy Spirit speaks to you through this to put the pieces together b/c He is out-pouring all this from me!! Jesus loves you so much that you were worth dying for! :D

Opportunities and Growth..

Man, I love to blog about what I'm doing out here. I hope this encourages you with whatever you are dealing with. Alright so life so far here has had its ups and downs, but I can't complain. This is definitely where the Lord wants me. Now, I'm not saying it is easy in anyway but its really teaching me of how the Lord provides and to depend and trust upon Him. Work at Starbucks is going great! I hung out with 2 co-workers/friends today, Keanna and Mariah! Awesome, Awesome girls. Keanna and I met for breakfast at Kaleheo cafe, and then went to the beach with her ADORABLE son, Rider. Then we went to this restaurant called Kalapaki Joe's with Mariah. We had some awesome conversations about Jesus. Dude, if anything, I know God wanted me out here to encourage these girls, and they have encouraged me! They both are my trainers at Starbucks but its so awesome of how we are pouring into each others lives. They wanna check out our church, Relevant Church of Kauai! So I'm super stoked. I guess, if anything God is teaching me to just pour into the people around me, Christian or non-Christian. I was talking to my friend, Drew, tonight and we don't know exactly if we are suppose to find the opportunities or let the opportunities come to us, but what we do know is to make the most of every opportunity (eph.5:16). I believe every time we have an encounter with someone, there is an opportunity to show Christ, whether with words or with actions. However the Spirit leads. I definitely can see how God used Camfel for all this. Just to help find myself of who I am in Christ as well as persevering. I do miss my friends so much back at home, but the Lord has been providing me with encouragement! So let me just say this, and in no way was I awesome at this..Wherever the Lord leads you or whatever He wants you to do, it may be hard, but bite the bullet and do it. Take the uncomfortableness and take the risk and go for it. Jason kept telling me, "Its not going to be uncomfortable forever" So true because I'm starting to really adjust. No, not everyday is going to be easy. We are going to have those days like, "AHH! What am I doing!" or "This sucks! I want out!" But wherever the Lord wants you, He WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU! It may not seem like it right away but He does. He takes care of the birds doesn't he? So how much more valuable are you then they? I know its not always easy..we care too much of what people will think (Thats a BIG stopper) and we worry to much about what will happen. Well, let me tell you this, what power does man have over you? Why should we fear weak, wimpy man rather than the Almighty Powerful God. And how do you know what will happen when you can't even predict what will happen the next 2 minutes of a TV program you never have seen before. The all-knowing, Almighty, LOVING God wants to have a relationship with you where He wants to give you the hook-up! No, it won't be easy. Its a tough road, but you will see how it is so worth it! Its better than what the worldly life could ever offer because life with God lasts forever, FOR-E-VER!!! Feel free to facebook me or email me (jlacay88@gmail.com) or comment if you wanna talk!