California...shake shake shake

Well, I'm here in Cali and I absolutely love it here! I wouldn't mind this at all next semester! Its crazy because so far on this journey, I learned a lot about myself, my relationship with God, and especially knowing God more. Its been challenging! Learned about patient endurance, being convicted of where I was finding my identity in (friends, boys, how many people I know), and then seeing Jesus as my Lover. You guys, I cannot explain to you how much God has shown me. Its a unique experience that no two people could have. Yes, there are similarities but we all have our own journey with our Lord. God has been so good to me, guys! I'm so unworthy of His grace and love in my life. Its been awesome to share things with my brothers and sisters in Christ to hear what God is doing with them and how we can encourage each other. Linds, I really just freaking commend that girl, my tour partner. She has not gone home since August and boy, has God gotten a hold of her heart! Its been so encouraging to see this girl grow! I could not ask for a better tour partner! I believe God put her in my life to help me with my identity issues! You see guys, so often I look at keeping things of what I have. I don't like change, however, when it comes, I wanna make sure I"m comfortable. Linds and I have been reading about Job. The Lord gives and takes away. With Job, God gave and take away yet Job still praised Him, even when everything was stripped away! That seems so hard, right? If God was to take away all my friends, if He was to take my home, family, job, even telling me I'd be single the rest of my life...would I still praise Him? I want to say I sure hope so! Yes, I want to get married one day! I desire a husband! My dream is to be a wife and a mom and have my house open to people that they will walk into our house and feel the love of God and serving them. That my marriage is not just a blessing, but a tool used to bring people to the kingdom! My husband and I working as Kingdom partners to bring others into His GLORIOUS kingdom! I definitely think God is preparing me for marriage with this job..haha! Linds and I were talking the other day of how important communication is. That is so important in marriage so its like God used us to prepare for that aspect of it! LOL. I'm so thankful for what God is doing in my life. No, its not easy, it sucks at times, but its so worth it in the end! I'm truly thankful for my suffering because I see it produces perseverance and character! Seeing Jesus as my Lover, my Husband, my Living Water, has been such a journey for me, and has been a long road! But more and more and I love on Him, the more and more I grow! Yes, there have been times so far, I just get cranky and I just want to be alone..However, God has shown me grace and mercy through people. I love Jesus so much, guys! I dont want that to come across like all fakey and suck-up-ish, I"m being legit! Jesus has changed my life and still is changing my life. My heart belongs to Him, he truly is the fountain of Life I need to be drinking from!

just an add on to yesterday's...Jesus surprised me!

So you guys know how yesterday I was saying I went to the park and I couldn't see the Tetons...well....JESUS SURPRISED ME!! Ok, so this is what happened. I woke up early this morning to get ready to head out. Linds and I planned to go back one more time in Town Square of Jackson. I did not plan to go to Grand Teton National Park because yesterday was bad, so I figured today would be, too. So, after getting ready, I look out the window and then I put my luggage in our van. I said, "Linds, it looks pretty clear outside..I wonder if we could see the Tetons today!?" So we start heading out towards Town Square and its not as foggy as yesterday. So, we decide to head to the park. We head out of the town and turn around this hill and...THERE THEY WERE!! The Grand Tetons!! Oh, so beautiful! I mean, only God, OUR CREATOR, could only think and make that! ONLY HIM! How can someone look at something that beautiful and NOT know there is a God, who loves His creation SO much!? I screamed! You can ask Lindsey! We pulled over by the Grand Teton National Park sign and took pictures! I just was in a holy moment with Jesus that whole time! He was laughing, so stoked to see me so excited to see His majesty! I just totally felt his presence there! He knew I wanted to meet him there and He TOTALLY made it happen!! I was so blessed!! I love Jesus so much! Oh my goodness...I had such a wonderful time w/ him there this weekend! Looking forward to more times!! We are now in Elko,NV and it is snowing up a storm! I don't care tho, Jesus loves me this I know! I love him, and umm...I'm so in LOVE with Him!!!

Jackson Hole,WY and the Grand Tetons!!!

Ok, right now, folks, I am in my favorite place ever (besides Hawaii). I"m in Jackson Hole, Wyoming!! So lets start this off with whats first. So Thursday night, Linds and I stayed in Rapid City,SD and then friday got up to head out to Mount Rushmore! Pretty exciting stuff!!Then jetted out to Jackson! Mmmm, I love it here so much!! Anyways, we are driving through Wyoming. If you have never driven through Wyoming, there is pretty much not a McDonald's til you hit Jackson, yes..thats how like no one lives here. Traveling, we saw a population of 10! yeah, 10!! Anyways, to continue on this amazing adventure, we are approaching the Rockies. However we have to go through this SUPER SUPER small town of 169 people to get to the mountains. So the speed limit heading in is 65, then you slow down to 30 approaching Dubois,WY. So I slow down. The town is so small you pass it in a blink of an eye. Up ahead, the sign says, 55 so I start to speed up but slow down because the sign after 55 says, "Slow down slick roads". So Linds says, "There is a cop behind us" and I say, "ok" thinking she wanted me to make sure I'm going the speed limit. Linds says, "No, like with their lights on!" OH CRAP! So I pull over hoping it wasn't me, but it was.:( Sad day! I was going 47 in a 30. He caught me right when I was speeding up for the 55. LAME! I gotta pay $138. Well, bummed, we head up the Big mountain ahead. Its snowing and snowing. I"m going like 20 and people are passing me going maybe 45mph. I'm thinking, "Can't I get out of my ticket if I made up for going over 17mph because now I'm going like 25 under??" The roads on the mountain weren't slick at all but it was eventually cool because..there they were..The Grand Tetons! My most favorite mountain range ever! It was snowing so you could only see the bottom half but I didnt care! Linds and I saw anteloupe and buffalo! I mean, God is stinkin awesome on how he created nature!! mmmm!!! So we get into Jackson! So pretty! Lights, snowing! I was pumped! This morning, I got up to spend time with Jesus in Grand Teton National Park. Well, it was pitch white outside! Couldn't see a thing! I saw 2 Moose walking through but I could not see the Tetons :(. Super bummed so I headed back to Jackson Hole Coffee Roasters (Cafe) in Town Square. Dude, I have been learning to see Jesus as my lover! I'm so in love with my Savior! He told me that I'm the woman in John 4 who is so thirsty, but never satisfied! I so often look to relationships, friendships, boys, to fulfill me! I"m now on my journey of knowing Christ as my "Living Water" the One who can only satisfy!! Ugh, its soo good! I know this whole job is to have a time of solitude, to know Him as my Lover besides my God, my Savior, and my Counselor. Its like a honeymoon with Jesus. Though, its stretching and humbling, its so worth it! He brought me here to Jackson Hole, to be with Him because He knows how much I love nature, mountains, Christmas! Haha! I am so excited to be here in Jackson. I don't want to leave!! However, I hope to be back real soon!!!

Learning to be content...

Its crazy how we go from being little when we think the worst thing in the world is when we have to clean our room, or we didn't get that certain toy we wanted for Christmas. Now, 22 years old, I could careless about such things. I actually like to clean! ha! God has been really taking me on this journey of recognizing Him as my Provider and "Living Water" that Jesus speaks about in John 4. Lets start with the Provider. I was talking to my friend Jeff last night on the phone, and well, though we are in different situations, Him and I are learning a lot how suffering and being uncomfortable can stretch us towards God. We were talking about how we always pray for a "suffering-free" life. But like I said in my latest blogs, suffering is a privilege because we see God's grace in our lives. Suffering brings us on our knees, admitting our weakness, where we become strong by the grace of God. So us becoming weak, actually makes us strong. I think once I hit that point on tour that I could not do these set-ups without God, that's when I was strengthened. I was watching the Pursuit of Happiness featuring Will Smith and his son, last night. This guy, Chris Gardner worked so hard to stay off the streets. How many times things went wrong, how many times he had to fight and figure out a place to sleep every night, he did not give up! There is a scene in a movie when he is at a worship service and he just holds his son closely in his arms and just crys. This just broke my heart and made me realized how much I'm blessed and how someone who has nothing becomes so broken towards the Lord. I grew up in a Middle-class family, had what I needed, got more than I needed, been pretty secure my whole life, living a comfortable life. The thing is, guys, I'm really learning how much I can be so selfish. Why am I so concerned about making sure I'm "comfortable"? Why do I like to be comfortable? I don't think we realize what we have until its taken away. Jeff was saying what he read in the Bible was that if we really wanna live for Jesus, we would sell everything we have and give it to the poor! Isn't that crazy! Now, I'm not saying become homeless but how we should be living a generous life. I'm going to admit it to you, I struggle on tithing because I'm a selfish girl who thinks, "Oh, well I might find something at the mall...or I want to go out to eat with my friends, or I need it for savings" What the crap am I thinking? Why..why do I care so much about myself where there are people out on the streets that don't eat for days..people living on only less than a dollar a day! What I have is not mine, its God's!! Why can't I understand that concept!? I NEVER want to be rich, but if God did so, I want to give a big amount to the poor! I don't want to live a comfortable life, and yes, that is scary thing to say..and I want my heart to get there. The other thing is too, in John 4, Jesus speaks of "living water" and how easily we can think materialism will make me happy, a guy, a girl, money, things, materialism. Pssh, if there is no full content in Jesus, those things will never fulfill us...EVER! Jesus is the ONLY living water there is that we will never thirst. Other things, that we chase after, we will just thirst more when those things are done fulfilling us and fade away. We will never find true content. I don't know guys, my eyes are really being opened here. I want to live a full abundant life in Christ Jesus! I cannot get enough of this man, Jesus! There is something extraordinary in this relationship with Him, that I constantly cannot get enough of, and the thing is, there is more of Him that He wants to give me! I love this man, Jesus! I'm madly in love with Him and I cannot wait to be with Him one day! He is the only person who fulfills me!

What a switch!

So, I'm just gunna be straight out, like I usually am...God has been showing me SOOO much of Himself and how he works! I cannot tell you how much I have learned from the time I've been born to High School, to College, to now with my life out in the "real world". I really am understanding a lot more of why we go through what we go through. Well, let me first tell you about our week. Linds and I were able to come home (south bend,IN) for a week! Its amazing because God has just been spoiling me and I am SO undeserving of it...I'll explain more in a bit. We were home for a week and just being able to rest, bake, and catch up with friends! It was such a good break and boost to getting back on tour. I love just fellowshipping with my friends and laughing! Its so good! I see why God encourages us to laugh. Not only is it good ab exercise, but it helps us just let go of life's worries, struggles, and heartaches.Yesterday, we had a show in Powell,OH for a leadership seminar for middle school and high school student councils. It was really good! Nice kids! While I was home, in the beginning, let me tell you, I was not such a happy camper. I don't know why but when I'm run-down, tired, I often just want to be alone. I just want to do my own thing either being home alone, or off doing something on my own. I just want to be with God..ALONE! I was able to that for about an hour this week-home alone. I noticed my attitude, and how attitudes affect a situation. This is where I"m picking up of where I said I'd fill ya in in a second. The thing is, guys, during the month of October, I did not have a good attitude when things got hard. When I get stressed out or frustrated, I just want to be alone. And yes, I agree, we need to have that alone time. Though I'm extroverted, I recharge like and introvert. I really like being alone sometimes..its good for everyone! However, all I did is mostly complain in my head, became judgmental towards others' faults when they messed up (as if I was perfect...paleezzz!)This caused me to be irritated and shut down, I guess. Then God gives me a blessing of coming home, which was awesome. But was I praising God? No! I was still irritated because I wanted to be alone so bad (which i just need to communicate that better) and complaining about going on the road again, to what I think would be Kentucky. Then, we head out from home and Linds does her call-in with Andrew (our boss). Then, to both of our surprise, thinking we would be in Kentucky (bleh!) for Thanksgiving, we are in California!!! WHAT?!? God, are you kidding me?! God knows how much I love the west and how much I love the mountains, beach, palm trees, and how that is one of the things that I love about God's creation..that beauty! So, God blesses me with making the trip out to Cali next week! I can't believe it! From irritation, bad, pouting, half-empty, attitude to jump to the ceiling rejoicing attitude! Why can't I praise God in the tough times too!!? ugh! I hate that about myself, how I always just praise God when things go the way I want them too..or when God gives blessings! Have we ever considered suffering a blessing?! I haven't but boy, is God really teaching me that it is! Then I found out, we are in Flint, MI with Linds's aunt and uncle, that they are taking us to Frankenmouth, MI tomorrow!! ITS THE WORLD"S LARGEST CHRISTMAS STORE..BRONNER"S!! AHHHH!! And those who know me, I LOVE Christmas! So while I pout, complain, being a brat during October with my horrible attitude, God blesses me with coming home to see friends and family, Christmas stores, and Cali! Though we have trips in AZ and NV which is awesome too!! I'm such a brat, you guys! Seriously, I even worry and whine about never finding a husband and not having the right guy in my life! God has his timing!! He knows! And what we go through, times of suffering and times of praise..its worth it! Suffering is what we need, its good! Suffering, I'm learning, is a privelege..its a discipline. Ok, yes, we cringe at those words..suffering, discipline, but God is SOOOO good..he uses those things for good! God NEVER gives us more than we can't handle! He is so faithful in giving us strength even when WE THINK we can't go on! He knows WE CAN because of Him! I just want to encourage all of you, if you are having a tough time, suffering, things just seem unfair, and you wanna give up..DON"T!! change the attitude!! God does not keep you at rock bottom forever. He lets us get there,admit we need help so we can see His strength and grace work in our lives to where He lifts us up again! Its the most AMAZING thing! There's a reason for the season, folks! There is joy in every sorrow....Seek your God!! Seek Him and He will lead you! No doubt! Even when you feel like its dark, nothing there, no signs...SEEK SEEK SEEK!! I LOVE JESUS!!! I LOVE THIS MAN JESUS!!! HE IS MY EVERYTHING AND I am a pitiful servant of Christ who needs to learn to rejoice in her suffering!! Its amazing how the God of the universe can love such a ungrateful brat like me!