What bleeds when trials come...

So far I have been living in Kauai for one week. Things have been coming along fast. Meeting people, starting my job, helping with church stuff, trying to get established (got a PO Box now so now I'm legit lol). However, things have been bleeding through my life now that I never knew were there and most of that is....PRIDE. Its funny how growing up, like when we were in school, or if you are in school we are all about pride! Being so proud of our school! Showing school spirit and how we are the best and we are the definition of domination! Its all about who is the best! Maybe in the US today, its all about pride, citizen pride! Being the best! Everything is about being the best! I feel for guys because they have a more pressure than girls to be the best at performance! Society tells guys that they got to be on top. But is that how God expected it to be? Does God call us to, "BE THE BEST!" or "Be Faithful"? Are we suppose to be the best at being faithful? Is there suppose to be a competition between us and our brothers and sisters? I'm telling you, I never realized how much pride I had until I came out here. To make it short, I have been having to depend on Jason and it is not easy. Yes, don't get me wrong, I am SOOO appreciative of that boy and thankful that he is here because I would not be where I am at, however, I have a pride issue of being depenedent. I never knew I had a selfish desire to act like I have it all together. I know at some extent we all do, but God is breaking me of mine. God made the body for a reason. Not to just fellowship and talk about him, but to learn, grow, and help one another. A body functions as one and if we all don't help each other out, we don't move. I'm use to being the one to walk into a room and just connect with everyone, make friends easily. I'm making friends, its just taking slower than I thought. I shouldn't get so depressed over it, thats stupid because things like this take time. I guess God is testing me with my patience, too. But on top of all this, I'm learning so much on how God provides things, on HIS TIMING! I have been hanging out with one of the pastor's wife. They have 3 boys-4,2,and 5 months. They are barely making it with rent, yet, they are willing to give everything they have to help others. The pastor's wife, she is home with those 3 kids everyday while her husband works 3 jobs, and its a lot of work! I give her so much credit. She could easily just give up and tell God, "Forget this! I'm sick of this! I'm done!" But yet she doesn't because she is determined to let the Lord lead and provide. I'm sure it is stressful for them, however, their faith in God is so real and abundant! God is going to bless them. I believe it! Just spending time with that family really calmed me down about finances and having to depend on people. Its how God provides sometimes. I just pray I can get over this pridefulness. I HATE pride. It really destroys you because you become so hard and stubborn that it can stunt your growth in character. I don't know what you are dealing with, but if God wants to work on something with you, yeah, its going to be frustrating, you are going to want to shut down, but if you can bite the bullet and let the pain run off while its hurting, which God will give you strength for if you ask, it will be so worth it. Its really true, no pain, no gain.

So far in Kauai...

Alright! I made it! Here I am! Loving Hawaii for sure! If you know me pretty well, you know that I'm in love with Hawaii and that this is where I always wanted to be! I never knew it would happen so fast! Ok, so here are some updates people! So far, things have been going great, intimidating at times, but good! Jason has been really taking care of me and I'm so thankful for that! I'm staying with an awesome couple, Shannon and Eric, with their 3 kids, Gunnar, Anna, and Hans. They are awesome! And I love my lil room with a bathroom! I led worship at a church up at the North Shore. It is the home church of Bethany Hamilton (Soul Surfer) and her dad was there along with Craig T. Nelson (the guy who plays the Doctor in Soul Surfer and was in Cheers, Coach, the dad from the proposal and family stone I believe). Worship there went well. God just really flowed through my voice! I was nervous but God totally had it! It was so cool, because a lot of people were encouraged by my story moving out here. I'm glad God used that. One lady came up to me and said, "You singing 'Relentless' just gave me the absolute meaning of the gospel of Grace" sooo awesome how God can use us! Then I did my interview at starbucks on Monday. Got it full-time! They were going to start me out part-time but God totally had it work out! So that was soo cool! I start today actually! I'm pumped! Went to the beach yesterday, got some sun! I'm seriously its just so cool to see God's awesome creation through where we live! Yesterday I went to the Relevant's women's bible study and it was awesome. We are going through this book called Radical. Its about what it really means to follow Jesus. How we in the US consider luxuries a lot of times and a necessity. Did you know even a knife and fork is a luxury?? Crazy..I mean here in the US we are considered the wealthiest people on the planet. Even if you are living in your car, you are considered wealthy. Its just here in the US we compare ourselves to everyone else. Seriously, if we could budget things..like let's just say we make 100,000 a year and we know we can live off 20,000 a year...just imagine if we gave the rest away which would be 80,000 what a difference that would make in our world..if we all lived simple. Now, I'm not saying having nice things, or a nice house and all that is wrong, and I'm not just saying to you all but for myself as well, that we should be good stewards of our money, and boy, to I struggle with that. Not that I overly expend but I sometimes can be selfish with it b/c I think of me. Being here has really helped me think about giving. Everyone here in Kauai, we all help each other out. Not worrying about paying back so much. I mean God has really provided a place for me to stay for a month, a car to use for awhile, my awesome friend to help me out, and awesome fellowship to hang out with as well as a full-time job! I'm serious, when God calls you to do something, it may not be easy, but He will help you and provide for you! I'm so stoked to to be here and I think now, after work, I'm hitting up the beach again! Again, if you know me well, I love the beach! Jesus rocks and I just want to encourage you all to step out in faith! Its not easy, its hard, and its scary but once you make up your mind, take that step, he provides you the way to go!

4 days til the Big Move...

Welp, Camfel is done with..been home for awhile..maybe about a month. Haven't really wrote in this blog lately, so I'm getting to start again. For the past month now, God has shown me where He wants me..its pretty obvious He wants me in Kauai. He has been so faithful in providing everything I need. Literally when things look like they are going to fall apart, the next day or even literally within the next hour, its fixed! I'm that type of person where I plan. I also want to be responsible and make sure everything is secure. Well, God sure is taking me on a leap of faith. You know that scene in Indiana Jones, I think its the 3rd one, where he has to go through all these obstacles to get the room of where the cups were and he had to figure out what cup is the cup Jesus used at the last supper? So there is that one part where he has to take "The Leap of Faith" where he is at a cliff and there is nothing connecting him to the other side, but if He has faith He will step onto a bridge that is invisible. Once he takes the leap of faith, believing, He sees the bridge and walks across it. Its all in perception of believing and thats LITERALLY what God is doing to me right now. I can't plan anything. I most likely have this job at starbucks but I don't have a car, I don't have an apartment yet (Though God hooked me up through my friend Jason that I have a place til the end of June), I have never been on this island but thank God He has provided my friend Jason to help me. I am going out to Kauai like blindfolded it seems but I know He is calling me there. The thing is, guys, we all have our different journeys God takes us on. Maybe you don't know if you are on a journey with Him, maybe you know and you are like me and scared, and maybe you seem like things are boring right now or nothing is happening..whatever it is, God has a specific reason for everything that is happening in your life and it all has to do with going deeper in the level of trust with Him, getting to know Him. Shoot, through all this, I'm for sure going deeper and its scary because I don't really have control but thats why we surrender. I know quite a few people think I am crazy to do this, and well, to the world I am. But living a God-filled life, its so opposite to the world where its gunna look crazy and foolish but God is soo good and so faithful. That honestly, living the worldy way, how the world functions and how the world thinks...now that's crazy and that's foolish. I love how Paul talks about being Fools for Christ! I don't remember where it is at, but if anything we should fall for God, not for worldly crap! I just want to encourage you guys, that whether you are facing some tough issue and I know some of you may be facing persecution, I know I have, its all to bring Glory to God and to bring you close to Him. Through this experience thus far, I have been getting to know Jesus soo much more and boy, have I been clinging to him for dear help because I honestly don't know sometimes how I'm going to make it out there financially! However, He calls, He provides, He conquers!! Nothing is too big for Him!