How God encourages...

I have been reading in Jeremiah, now. Lately, I just have been reading the Bible because of a few reasons: One, because it is good to get poured into and read God's words..that's God's book of Truth! Two, because I find so much comfort in it and it helps me get through this semester, and Three, because I want to read something during the shows to make them go fast because I have seen Dare To Move 18 million times! (Just being honest) Anyways, Jeremiah is known as the "weeping prophet" because he had so much compassion and empathy for Jerusalem and Judah who turned away from God. Jeremiah tells the people of Israel that if they do not turn to their God and repent, God will destroy them. Well, the selfish people we are, they don't listen to Jeremiah. In fact, they plot to kill him. Jeremiah, talks to God about why they are doing this and that this is hard. Ok, right there, I can somewhat relate to Jeremiah. I mean, I know I'm not most likely to die during this job, nor do I have anyone plotting to kill me that I know of, but it can be really discouraging, sad, hard, when you see people everyday that do not know the Lord nor wish to follow Him. Maybe I"m the "weeping tech". LOL. I just go to these schools all the time, hoping that I will have an encounter and SOO bad I just want to say in that microphone "JESUS LOVES YOU! Come to Him for eternal life, which is life that is way better than this one! you will live forever, you have life even after death! What a reward and privilege it is to follow our Lord! How you will experience His unfailing love!" Something like that. Reading in Jeremiah, just has given me hope and comfort to know, that I am going somewhere with God. That though, there may not be a response, I'm making myself available to the lost. So so so, this is the good part! Today, another tech, Kelly, and I went to a school in Hollywood and well it was the same school that they film Glee! Ugh, so you could imagine how excited I was! I got to see the gym and football field where they film the shots! Also the steps where they sang "Empire state of mind"! So cool! Well, anyways, today I just told the kids that, "You are worth something! You're life you are living is worth it!" and I invited anyone who wanted to talk to come! So, this high school girl came over to me and told me that her cousin died 4 years ago and has not seen the grave. There is a scene in Dare To Move (the show we put on) that a kid goes to visit his brother's grave. She asked if she could go and see it. I told her that if that is something she needs to do in order to help cope, then yes. However, inside of me, I wanted to tell her about God, how He is the God of all comfort! So I said it! I said something like, "Well, I am in a Christian and the God I serve comforts me anytime and especially with these types of things. We don't know why things happen sometimes, but I know I can find hope and trust in Jesus. He totally understands and he can help you! I will pray for you and I encourage you to pray as well to Him. He will listen and help you!" She said that she is a Christian but wasn't sure if her cousin was and I said, "Well, God is the ultimate judge. Wherever your cousin is, you have to move on with your life..and God will help you." I said some other things that I can't remember and I probably repeated myself because I got really nervous, but it was SOOO cool!! I just praised the Lord that I had an opportunity to speak His name! Jesus rocks you guys! I just love Him so much!! More and more He reveals Himself to me. He is the Love of my life!

The cost....

So, I have been reading in Luke and really trying to understand what it means to follow Jesus. I mean seriously, our Lord is intense! When he means give up everything and follow Him, like, we have to be willing to let go of anything! I was reading how many men were like, "Well, let me do this first..or I got do this one thing and then I will come." How often, when Jesus calls us to do something, we are like, "Well, I need to have my coffee in the morning, so I will fast after that." or "Well, I know you want me to get out of this relationship, but now isn't the right time." We make excuses so easily because we want the sacrifice to be comfortable. I know, I'm guilty of it,too! I ain't righteous, that's for sure. Not on my own! I know there has been times, because I care to much what people will think, when God tells me to do something and I put it off because I"m scared of what people will think or say. The thing is, we can't be afraid of going after our passions or the calling, or the demands the Lord has called us to do! Obedience is much greater than sacrifice. I'm not saying sacrifice is wrong, and sometimes we sacrifice something in replace of something we are really called to sacrifice, just to make ourselves feel better. Its like this, for example, maybe you want to fast something, but instead of fasting your desired love for chocolate, you sacrifice, watermelon. You like watermelon, but chocolate is FAVORITE! The thing is, that might of been a crappy example, we need to be willing to step out of our comfort zones. So often guys, I make excuses to try and come home. Yeah, I'm sick of traveling. I wanna do something new. I want to work with students so bad and share Jesus with them..I'm not going to lie, I am over this job. HOWEVER, God has me here right now..I pray I can go home soon, but I have to endure this time. I have to sacrifice my self comfort, for doing His will. And those of you who know me, I do have a hard time being away from home. However, I made it this far, and by the grace of God I have made it this far. Either your struggling like me, enduring a season where God wants you, or you're afraid of taking the next step (which will be me soon after this job), or you feel like life is just blah right now and you have no idea what or where God wants you. Its ok to feel those things, but its not ok to obey the way we feel. Ask God where He wants you, be willing to put aside fear and selfish motives. Its not easy guys, I know. However, the Lord is SOO good and He has a purpose for our lives. EVERYTHING we go through is for a reason and it will be used to bring us to the next step! We are maturing in our relationship with Jesus. Yes, in life we are going to fail, we are going to be afraid, but DON'T let that stop you! Trust the Lord your God! It may seem risky but it is milk and honey in the end!!

How much longer??

Today has been kinda rough. Linds and I are in San Fran for the weekend, which is nice, but man, wanting to be home is hitting again. To be honest, I just miss my family, my friends. I miss going out with my friends on the weekends, having my own room, and just being a bit more stable. Traveling like this gets so tiring and a bit frustrating. I know God has done alot of growing and strengthening with me, but man, today, I just feel so depressed and just hopeless. I have been reading in 1 Samuel, acutally just finished the book today. I HIGHLY recommend reading this book! I believe God wanted me to read it to be encouraged by David's life. David remained faithful to God whatever the circumstance was. Poor kid, he was always traveling because he was running from Saul. David was a man after God's own heart and he did whatever the Lord wanted him to do. He would wait upon the Lord. Saul however was not. He made haste decisions based off how he saw the circumstance rather than trusting in God which then he disobeyed God so many times then would make excuses for himself. Saul made decisions off the impulses of his anxiousness and impatience rather than waiting upon God. How often do we do that? I know I've done it before! I almost did last saturday! I almost quit this job. I knew God wanted me to stay but I was so frustrated because I really wanted him to tell me it was ok to do so, but the thing is He has a plan! Thanks to Him on sunday he spoke clearly to me in the car and in church, minded 2 good friends of mine who encouraged me to stick it out. I know, its hard. We so often look at our circumstance and how hard or complicated or distraught it looks and we act off what we see, rather than just conversing with God and waiting upon Him to help us. Yes, right now, as I'm typing this, I feel distraught, hopeless, and just depressed. However, I'm trying to get myself to know that this is all gunna be worth it. Its like that song, "I don't understand Your ways, but Oh that I will give you my heart, give you all of my praise....its gunna be worth it." I'm trying to be like David, and just endure the circumstances around me because the Lord is my strength and if He brought me to this, He will get me through it! So often, and I"m one of them, we wanna skip to the next step when one step is hard. But the thing is, if we skipped to the next step instead of doing this step, we aren't prepared for the next step because the step we should take now, will prepare us for the next. Ugh, Lord please help me! Sometimes, I have no idea how I'm going to do this til the end, but I know I'm going to look back at this and Praise the Lord He has brought me through it! :)I love Jesus so much!!!

Mountains and Valleys

We often say in life that there is mountains and valleys. Sometimes we are on top of the mountain, other times we are way low in the valley. No matter what though, God is faithful in humbling us when we are on the top of the mountain and uplifting us when we are low in the valley. As it is in nature, in order to get to the top, we start in the valley...but when we climb, and we never give up, we will reach the top. Starting Camfel, I felt like I was at the top! I felt like I was on top of the mountain! God has blessed me with an awesome job, awesome friends, tour partner, a boyfriend, and income. Seriously, I thought life was going pretty well. I did miss my friends from back home, however, I felt pretty good. Then the valley hit. I broke up with the boyfriend, the job was getting harder and more frustrating, people got upset with me, and after a nice, thankful, awesome Christmas break with being reunited with my awesome friends and family, I did not want to come back. So many times Linds and I wanted to quit. We were so frustrated and just thought we had no purpose in this job. We felt left out, in useless, and just so weak, lonely. This past weekend, I thought for sure I was out. I couldn't take it anymore, I wanted to leave. I wanted my friend Jeff to tell me I could quit so bad. However, Jeff was speaking, it was God. Then at church, God spoke the same thing again. He told me, "Jessie I'm breaking you to transform you! You always pray to be transformed! This time, its a big turning point!" I got this vision of that I was a lego pieces..all broken and then God rebuilding me! He said, "Jessie, I will never leave you nor forsake you! I'm with you no matter what!" In church we sang "Desert Song". I broke when in the bridge it says, "All of my life, in every season, You are still God. I have a reason to sing! I have a reason to worship!" God is God no matter what I"m going through and I have a reason to keep rejoicing! My joy is God! So then Linds and I, as a pity treat, go to Tutti Frutti (amazing AH-mazing!! Frozen yogurt place) and both belted out we could not quit. Linds's dad was used by God to speak His words in a facebook message and it was soo good! The thing is, guys, we are going to have moments of mountains and valleys. Its good to be humbled when we are on top, and be lifted up during those times, but its also good to be weak, and feel like there is nothing you can do, so that Jesus can uplift you! His power works best in our weakness! Now, Linds and I, both decided to praise Him and have a better attitude! This is a season for us, and God is transforming us and teaching us! I've learned so much about myself, relationships, and knowing Him during this job! Again, my life is to Know Him and Make Him Known! I am here to be a domino in someone's life as well..maybe a student...and I will proclaim Christ! However that looks, I will do what the Lord tells me to, to minister..even if it is asking, "Do you know Jesus?"