My world turned upside down..into God's.

The Lord literally turned everything I thought, upside down. I never realized how sometimes God needs to just have us face things we don't want to face or shatter dreams in order for us to get to a place that HE is the only fulfillment we have in life. I'm moving back home in December..at least for now. I never knew how long the Lord would want me here so I'm actually having a lot of peace about it so far. I thought it was to help with this church but honestly, at least from what I can see now, it was to face myself, face things I didn't want to face, and to touch the lives of people out here through it. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways. I never knew how much I put my worth and "marbles" (if you will) into people. We see in many different scriptures how God warns about trusting man over him. Especially one in Gal.10 "If we seek the approval of man, than we are not a servant of Christ." For a long time, even before I was a christian, I always had to seek approval from my parents and friends. I always wanted people to like me and think I"m this awesome, super person. I wanted affirmation! I never sought that in God. I cannot tell you right now I am completely cured of that, but since living out her for 6 months, the Lord brought me to my knees to deal with that. See, you guys, if we seek worth in people, in our jobs, in money, in materialism, basically anything other than God..its all meaningless. Read the book of Ecclesiastes! Solomon was the most wisest man ever, but wisdom alone wasn't enough for him until he sought his life in the Lord. We all walk around on this earth, searching for our purpose. Maybe some of us our asking, "Why am I here?". Why are you here? Those who believe in evolution, ok, lets just say we did come from nothing into something from a big "Bang!" you still wonder your purpose, don't you? You still wonder what the point of you living is? We all have desire to know our purpose and once we open our eyes to the Lord, we can see that purpose! Slowly, but surely! We all desire to be in relationship. But the one that is most fulfilling is the Lord. Being out here I never knew how much I put all "marbles" into relationships out here, BEFORE putting it in the Lord. I thought people could make me happy..so instead of serving God, I was serving people. But the cool thing is, the Lord still used it! How awesome is his grace! :) Let me tell you this, when God gets you on your knees, surrendering, I'm telling you..its not easy, its hard. You can't see clearly, but in that moment you think, "ahh this is so hard what do I do!?!?" That is the moment to be still. Let him take that sliver out of your skin and in order to do that, you NEED to be still.
I went to visit my friend, Jeff, this weekend over on Oahu. The Lord not only blessed me but opened my eyes to that fact that HE LOVES ME! I'm still trying to grasp it but I was just having such a hard time deciding what to do, if I should stay out here or go, but the Lord kept revealing to me that its not about location, its not about where you are at..its about what you are doing with where you are at...are we loving God and loving people?? THAT is his will! I was SOO encouraged this weekend by my friend and his church! Also, the waves on the North Shore were so awesome!! God calmed bigger waves than those 15 footers..thats like a atom to him! LOL God knows what is best, He knows what He is doing. All he asks us to do is to be faithful..to trust Him, be still before Him. Just do what He says which is in his Word, and the rest will come into play!
"Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart's desire" Psalm 37:4
and how do we do that?
"Seek FIRST the Kingdom of God, and all things will be given." Matthew 6:33
and how do we do that?
"You must love the Lord God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself" Love God, Love others..Matthew 22:38

You tired yet?

I don't know about you guys, but maybe some of you who are reading this just feel exhausted about your life..maybe what you are doing in your life, or chasing after in your life. I know how you feel. I feel like I have been trying so hard to manipulate situations to make them go my way. Being self-centered and selfish is literally exhausting. I try so hard to do things my way, focus on my wants, my needs, my future. God is like, "really?". I focus so much on, "What is your will for my life God? What about me!?!" Isn't God the Almighty so amazing and ominpresent that he can see me, too?? He can see you and me at the same time and be totally engaged in our conversation with Him. I'm so sick of chasing after acceptance and love when I need to know I have an amazing Lord, God of the universe who loves me and accepts me. I don't have to go chasing Him down like as if he is running away from me. He is coming towards me with arms wide open and saying, "Come to me! I love you!" Why don't I believe that? Why don't we believe that? Maybe its not in the way WE want it to happen, or we don't literally see that. But isn't God above the seeing? He is so powerful in so many ways we don't see! That's how powerful and amazing He is. I'm not gunna sit here and lie to you guys, but I have been struggling so hard lately. I questioned so many times if God loves me, cares about me, or if he even exists. That is Satan's stupid crap to get you alone and attack! Don't let Him. Though truth may not be in the seeing, it is real. A really cool example my friend Ronnie used in his sermon yesterday was, "When you go on a plane, do you ask the pilot, 'were you drinking? did you get enough sleep? are you an actual pilot? Can I see proof?'" No! we don't ask that! We trust that the pilot is a pilot, that he hasn't been drinking and that he is not sleepy. We HAVE FAITH, WE BELIEVE, without even thinking too much about it that we will arrive at our destination. And the funny thing is, we are more likely to crash with a human pilot than we are with God! With God, WE WILL NEVER CRASH! You guys, this came to my mind today while I was listening to a sermon...for me, I have been worrying so much about my life and a certain relationship..that I finally give up on it. Letting go and letting God. I thought today, "Do I really want to keep living this way until the Rapture? Worrying, trying to work things out my way? Or would I rather live my last days here on earth worshipping, loving God, loving others and showing them Jesus? I find so much more joy in the latter than I do the first part. God does not want us to worry. He does not want us to try and figure things out, but He wants us to prepare. Prepare for His coming and the only way we can do that is knowing Him. God's plan for my life is the same as yours...
-Pray without ceasing
-Give thanks in everything
-Rejoice always
-Submit to authority
-Avoid sexual immorality
-Be saved
-Be filled with the Holy Spirit
That is God's 99% will for our lives...the other 1% (occupation, where to live, who you are going to marry, etc.) will fall into place if we just focus on those things..and how to do those..is to know and fall in love with Jesus. I'm so guilty you guys, I suck at this so bad..but I'm doing my best to follow it. God knows we are not perfect, but he sees us as perfect through his Son Jesus by accepting Him into our lives. God sees us as perfect when we acknowledge we are sinners and need Jesus..that is perfection in God's eyes, not what we do. When we acknowledge that, we automatically want to do God's will.

The Lord works everything for our good...

I love how the Lord always knows whats best for us..always working for our good. The thing is, its not always what we think because honestly, I don't think we always know what is the best for us. Lately, well, I was doing this fast for 2 week, I fasted just doing veggies n meats, then just sugar..and now I think the Lord released me. The reason being is because I was like a prodigical (however you spell it) son coming home. For awhile here, my focus was just off with the Lord. I put Jesus kind of on the back burner, I think. I was chasing after things I thought I would fulfill me. One thing, which I have always had this problem since high school, was finding my identity in people. Meaning which, who I hang out with, how often, making sure I am doing something all the time with people...to sum it all up..accepted! When doing this fast, I thought I would like let go of desires, maybe like getting married, or like finding this job position, but honestly the Lord had different plans. It was letting go of my identity in people and finding it in God. I find so much worth in feeling popular and accepted. We all want to be accepted! We all want to feel loved and that people like us and that we are the coolest thing on earth. Well, back at home, I felt like I had that. But when the Lord sent me here, he stripped it away. I do admit, God gave me a gift of making friends very easy and very fast. However, here, it was a bit challenging and took some time. However, the Lord put an amazing group of friends around me here. I really had to lean on him for that. The thing is, I thought I could come out here and do things my way..psshh. Lets just say..in a showdown between you and God..guess who is going to win...I believe the Almighty Creator of heaven and earth will. Why would I even battle? These past 2 weeks, I am finally beginning to see Jesus as my acceptance..that is where I truly need to find it. Yes, we need people and fellowship around us to support and encourage us, just like He made the body, but truth and love come from Jesus. Seriously, I was thinking today..it has always been my dream to do ministry in Hawaii and surf. Now, I am ACTUALLY doing it! Maybe not how I thought would be, but I am doing it! I mean, surfing took me 4 months and now I'm FINALLY getting the hang of it! The Lord is helping me in so many ways, and I haven't even took the time to realize it til about now. Thank you Lord for all you do! Keep trusting him, church! Keep seeking him! Trust the plans he has for you, and not your own...he has a plan, and it won't kill you...but bring you life! Maybe the plans you have that you are trying so desperately to workout and you are probably getting exhausted and tired..like I was, are killing you..and the Lord is like, "You done killin yourself kid?..I'll revive you whenever you're ready."..He's waiting for you! Now run to him! :)