Survivor...Outwit, Outplay,Outlast

Have you ever watched that show Survivor?? I use to with my dad back in the day when it first came on as was "the thing to watch". Well, now that I look back on it, that show somewhat encourages me now. Those people got thrown on an island and in order to win a million dollars they have to stay on...persevere, do what they have to do to survive! Well, if anything maybe God is playing that "game" with me. Not meaning that in a disrespectful way to Him. Except I'm not playing for a million dollars. I'm trying to survive this "game" with the end goal in mind...Jesus! I just moved in my apartment 2 days ago. It is so weird to have my own place. I'm not really sure if I'm prepared for it and it scares me. But God obviously thinks I am. The thing is, this "game of Survivor" if you will..is where I can not obviously maintain stability and growth and everything I need without God. I need to keep the alliance I have with God so I don't get voted off the island, OR importantly the race! I sometimes wonder why God called me here. Yes, I'm still trying to figure that out. Those of you who know me well, more of this goes for my girls, know why I freak out (ya girls, here me! lol). But honestly, I know I want this certain something and I was willing to give it up, but God smack dab put me in front of it again and I don't understand b/c it does not seem it is working out. I guess sometimes we get to point in our walk with God where things just begin not to make sense and everything is moving around you so fast that you feel like you can't grasp on. You gotta just go with the crazy current like I said in the last blog. I was reading in James this past week..the 1st chapter I believe and it is towards the end where it talks about God will not mislead us or cast a shadow to misguide us. He does not tempt us or lead us astray. I know Satan wants me to believe that lie..and honestly, somedays are alot harder than others to believe that. I feel sometimes I can be an emotional wreck b/c of it. I guess in order to keep me on this "island", to keep me going for the prize..is my alliance with Jesus. The one who will give me strength, understanding, peace, and especially hope! He's my daily food, my daily breathe..I need to believe that b/c of that alliance is torn..I'm done. Think about it guys. Do you feel lost? Do you have the alliance to keep you in the game? You can't do it on your own..believe me, I tried here..I jacked myself up. I"m screwin up left and right and I"m so sick of it. I get so exhausted.. I hate when I listen to my feelings rather than God's truth. It ruins your life..LITERALLY! Keep the goal in mind...your treasures will be in Heaven. Keep your eyes on Jesus...