Confusion in the midst of Chaos..where are you God?

I don't know how you are feeling lately..heck I don't know what feelings are anymore...are they an indicatior of something..I know they aren't always truth..but why do we feel things? How do you know if its a lie or not? Why can't we distinguish truth from feeling..why is it so hard? I never feel like I'm good enough to run this Christian race. I feel like the world's suckiest Christian. I can't do anything right! I feel like people from every which way is like, "here this..this is right" "oh , wait no, this is good" "try this!" "do this!" "read this scripture" "Pray this way!" what the heck?!? I don't get it! Maybe my problem is I listen to too many people and then I lose side of God. Maybe I just can't say "NO!" to people and "Yes, God let me just get rid of those STUPID distractions and focus on you!" Yes, I'm super frustrated! I definitely know what Paul is talking about in Romans when he says, "I do what I don't want to do, and I don't do what I do want to do!" I think so often, I screw myself over because I run to people rather than God. I listen to the opinion of people rather than God. I seek people's advice rather than God's then it screws me up! I feel so bi-polar right now! One sit of talking with someone, I felt at peace and I was like, "Yeah, ok, this is what I gotta do!" then literally like 5 minutes later I"m like, "I dunno anymore! Wait, God I dunno!" I HATE THIS!! I want to be consistent in my living for Christ. And yes! IF you are reading this and thinking, "Oh man she is going off her own strength and she is frustrated!" Amen, brother! You got it right! I am frustrated because I don't know how to freaking let go! I just screwed myself by running to other people rather than God! Here is some advice for you, Seek God above all else. I"m not saying its wrong to get some wise counsel and talk things through, but be SLOW TO SPEAK and QUICK TO LISTEN! Take it from someone who keeps messing up her life and sucking so bad b/c I jacked myself up by how to think now! I need my Jesus! I need to just be with Him, alone! I need to sacrifice what I think I need for Him because He is all I need! I want to follow Him and I want to love Him, but I feel so confused on what He is calling me to do! I don't know how!! Pray the Lord reveals such things! I need to start putting Him first, and I haven't! Yes, I'm a freaking hypocrite Christian who needs Jesus! I admit it! I"m sorry if any other Christian has hurt you and turned you away from Jesus, we are human and we suck, but Jesus doesn't and if we choose to live through Him and with Him, you'll understand more, and find you're need for Him.