God's Word is our daily bread...

So lately, well probably for this past month being here in Kauai, I have been in such a spiritual funk. I have been feeling so dry, literally I was just starving myself from the Word. I didn't have any motivation, nor desire to dig in the Word. I thought maybe if I just "talk to God" meaning, this one way conversation with only me talking, that would be good enough. I don't think so. To be honest, I'm still struggling with why God still has me here. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love Hawaii! I have met some awesome people here but I guess I don't know where my niche is exactly. So this past week I had a few blowouts but Sunday night was the biggest. During the day on Sunday, I was on the west side with some friends, having a cookout, swimming, getting eatin by waves pretty much, lol. The waves over there are so powerful and intense! Anyways, one of the friends I was with, Jon, was talking about why people drown in currants. He was talking about how when someone is stuck in a currant, they waste all their energy and time trying to fight the currant that they exhaust themselves and then they die. Rather than, just letting the currant take them to wherever it ends. You have a better chance of living that way. Little did he know, God used him to speak to me. God said Sunday night, "Jessie, you are fighting the currant. You are trying so hard to do things and live life here on your own that you are exhausting yourself to stay above the water." I have been trying to figure things out on my own, and making things work the way I think they should go. However, when we do that, we exhaust ourselves. Monday after work, I just dove in the Word. I had to whether i felt like it or not, and honestly I didn't feel like it. I believed the lie of, "Oh, I know whats in there but its not pertaining to what is going on in my life right now." Yeah, what a bluff! When I opened my bible, and even just read a couple verses, I began to realize how hungry I was. Its like when you think you aren't hungry but then you maybe eat a little bit and then you end up eating a whole bunch and realized you were starving?? Yeah, same with the Word! It felt so good to "eat" to be with my Jesus. To fellowship with Him and be at His feet. I just repented for trying to do this on my own and not involving him in my life. I was trying to do things for God rather than God helping me do things for him. We can not live this life on our own. We are made for relationship and especially relationship with God. Jesus loves you so much that in order to have a relationship with you, He died for you because you are SO worth it to Him. And God was able to go through the pain of seeing His son on a cross, crucified! Imagine someone you love so deeply crucified on a cross!! How horrifying is that! Whether its your husband, your parents, a friend, a boyfriend, girlfriend..whatever! Just know that God paid an ultimate price to give you life and He wants you to live it to the fullest by giving Himself to you. His ways are way better than our ways. I know a life living for Jesus is not always easy. There is friction against the world with it, there is sacrifice and hardship but that is because we were born in the a world where its all lies, and in order to get away from that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life! He is the only way to a true, abundant life worth living for. I want to encourage you to dig deep into the Word. Have a study session and have a conversation with God. If you want God to reveal Himself to you, He will. Just keep yourself open! :)