Life as we know it....

Wow, been busy lately, haven't had time to blog! So far on my journey of living in Kauai, its been going well. I mean, I definitely have my days where I'm like, "What the heck am i doing here?!" or "Wait, what am I here for?" or the other bi-polar side of "Dude this is so awesome!" or "OH YEAH! This is why God has me!" I mean just because this is Hawaii, people, doesn't mean it is in any way easy. I really miss my family and friends back home but just when I begin to freak out and cry, God reminds me of His word and promises. I found an apartment and I ended up getting it but I just pray that I can afford it! I mean starbucks has awesome benefits and all but I mean growing up, there is a lot responsibilities! But ya know, if God wants me out here, He will provide! If it doesn't work out, then I'll move on to the next thing He has for me. The other night, I was just really questioning why I was here and just crying out to God for dear help! I felt so weak, so helpless, I felt like I was ruining things. Sometimes out here, I feel like God has abandoned me. But sure enough, God comes in and reminds me that He has never left my side and that often, when I get in some stupid predicament, its a chance for me to learn and be humbled. So often, we think when we make a mistake, we think we are doomed. The world wants us to think that life can never "be fixed". Well, thats true, but when we have Jesus, he already "fixes" our life. We are made "fixed" through him. I hate when I mess up! I hate when there was "the better option" and I didn't take it. But you know guys, God works through our mistakes. Dude, ok so my dad sent me this awesome encouraging letter this week about getting through adversity. We can't let things stop us from getting to our goal, to where the Lord has called us. Now I'm telling you, when God calls us somewhere, its not going to be easy and sweet, its going to be tough sometimes. My friend Jeff reminds me when I'm homesick to remember why God calls me out there and he told me before I came here to hang on to what God said because when I come out here, things are going to get hard and I'm going to want to jet. Yeah, Jeff had that right, lol. But through the strength and grace of God and my awesome best friend, Jason who is here with me, I'm getting through this. I don't know exactly my purpose here yet, but I do know I came to minister and one of them is through singing. I don't know why but I believe that is what it is. Jason led an awesome bible study last night at church and it reminded me to exemplify, show my love for the Lord. Its about being genuine in our relationship with Him and other people. When we love someone, we show it! I'm so in love with Jesus that I want to show it! I don't want to be scared! What does man have on us? Oh, they will hate us? They will fire us? They will persecuate us? So what!? God is so much bigger than that!! I speak for myself here, too guys! Jesus wants to be apart of our lives! He has a better plan than we do for ourselves and its abundant...its filled with significant purpose! I know I mess up alot, but its so humbling and amazing to know the grace of God! This post might be kind of scattered in topic but I pray the Holy Spirit speaks to you through this to put the pieces together b/c He is out-pouring all this from me!! Jesus loves you so much that you were worth dying for! :D