hard week to relaxation

I"m telling you, we had some of the worse scenarios in kentucky. i just don't get it! Haha, Bri and I pretty much want nothing to do with Kentucky. But in those times, boy, has God taught me alot...patient endurance for sure! This weekend was pretty nice. I got to just chill and watch the ND game...which man, bummer they lost! But they put up a good fight! MI really got nothing on us! LoL. Anyways, I'm really learning alot on this job...I'm really seeing a mirror image of who I use to be. My desire is to be constantly transformed by God...sanctification. Touring has been so interesting, and the people God is putting in my path, He has been using to shape me. I really see how judgmental I was, even in this summer. I am so in awe of how people's relationship with God is not this particular formula. Its a unique, intimate, personal relationship that we each have with our Creator! Holy Crap! I'm really grasping the concept that God does not expect us to perform for Him, but for Him to work through us. Just to let you know, we all suck at life. We need God! We are gunna fail, we are going to mess up! And my problem was is I would beat the crap out of myself when I would mess up. I wouldn't wanna get up. I would just wanna sulk in my own self-pity, thinking I was never good enough. This morning, I had such an encouraging conversation with my boyfriend. He really understands that its not about performing but just loving God and living life to the fullest. Yeah, we are gunna mess up, but the thing is, we get back up! We can't just sulk. We can't live in shame because that's a false reality. God has called us to live a life of freedom! I love the Lord, and because I love him, I want to obey Him. However, in order to obey Him, I need his grace! I can't depend on myself to live this "perfect performance of a life"! I'm serious people! God is opening my eyes like none other! I don't want to go back to that person where I worried about everything! Anxiety ruled my life and it no longer will have a hold on me! Anxiety is not living a life of freedom! Now, I'm not saying to pull the "sin now, ask for forgiveness later" deal because we are not to abuse God's grace. I am such a "black and white" person where I think Christians should have the same opinions and agree on everything..ok, yes, maybe in a perfect world. However, we dont live in one. Even as Christians, we have our own opinions of how things are, but one thing we do share is that we are saved by the blood of Jesus and we are living a life towards the same goal! Yes, they're might be some different opinions like.."In order to receive the Holy Spirit, you must speak in tongues", for example...well I dont know..but just because someone doesn't or does believe that doesn't mean they are not Christian. I struggled with the Catholic Church for a long time because i thought they are were leading people astray and yeah, we can be able to see things that our unbiblical in certain areas of any religion..however, i know they're are people out there who do have a personal relationship with Christ, such as my Mom. She is catholic and believes in the catholic rituals, however, she does have a relationship with God. Who am I to judge beyond the Almighty!?! Oh man, I"m glad God broke me of this. I had no clue! I just want to encourage you out there, to really ask God for His eyes, to see people as He sees them! We are so quick to judge off our lil pea brains compared to God's! Ya'll rock and God is good! If you don't know Him, you should! He is an awesome Father, an awesome Friend, an awesome Counselor, an awesome "everything you need" and nothing will satisfy you more than a relationship with Him!! Amen!