Can I get a "whoop whoop" for my Lord Jesus!?

So, as you know, its been a pretty hard month for Linds and I. Set-ups have been quite difficult and well, we have been pretty unmotivated until...NOW! You know, Satan can be pretty sneaky with his ways of getting us down because he does not want us to do God's will. And, God's will is enjoyable, not always during the moment, but in the end it is! Its accomplishing! What I'm trying to say is, Linds and I started a bible study together that took us through the beginning of the book of 1 and 2 Thessalonians. Paul is writing to them about to continuing to persevere under hard times and that suffering for God is actually a privelege!! Ok, so you're thining, "what? Suffering..a privelege? Get real, Jess." But the thing is, when we have suffering, when hard times strike, when life feels crappy, its actually an opportunity! Its an opportunity to allow God's amazing grace to enter into play! The thing this, like I said many times before, we cannot live this life alone. That is why God asks for a relationship with Him! Today I spoke at Harding High School in Fort Wayne, IN and God gave me the words to tell these kids, "You can choose your attitude, you can choose to see situations as a problem, or a challenge. You can let it knock you down or you can see it as an opportunity to make you stronger. We choose our attitudes!" That goes for us! We can choose to see things in positive or negatives lights. The thing is, with Christ, THERE IS HOPE IN EVERY SITUATION!! Nothing is unbearable because God is in control! He never gives us more than we can handle and when we think we can't handle it, well, guess what! YES, YOU CAN! Its like working out, you gotta persevere under training! You can run that extra mile, you can lift that other 10lbs, you can do 10 more reps! because you wanna build muscle, endurance, strength! Come on guys! Lets praise the Lord Jesus for His strength! The thing is, through this bible study Linds and I are doing, its a book study her mom gave us called "Living Victoriously In Difficult Times", it helped me grasp where my mindset was lately. The past few weeks, I dreaded doing set-ups because I felt like I had no strength left, however GOD gives me strength! Its not about the set-ups, its not about the line-ups, its about God's will and ministering to these students! I had one student come up and thank me for us coming and doing this! He was a senior planning to go to Ball State to study pharmacy! Thats why God has me doing this job! To be a light in the darkness...to be a representative of hope in Christ to people! AHH!! God is soo good! He is so faithful in our times of dryness! Oh keep loving Him he is sooo good!! Mmm..Mmm!!

Ups and Downs

Lets just flat out say, God stinking amazes me! I don't understand His ways, but Oh, will I continue to give Him my heart. I'm learning SO SO SO much in my life right now! I feel like God was waiting for this time in my life! Its like I'm one of the disciples that Jesus said to, "Come follow me." Now, I have been a Christ follower, since I was 18, and I'm STILL learning! I feel like I'm just a beginner! Lately, I have been reading in James and now, Ephesians, and I have been learning so much about patience and what it really means to follow Christ. In this job, I guess I definitely hit a dry patch, Lindsey and I both. We love being partners with each other but, boy, are we physically exhausted. Speakers use to not be so bad for me, but now I"m like, "uhhh..HELP!" Yet, when I just surrender myself to God, when I come to the Lord, bow before him, exhausted, and sigh, "God, please help me. I miss home, I miss my friends, I miss my MOMMY!" He says, "Rise Jessie, I'm here, get up and go!" and then He gives me strength, like the paralyzed man Jesus heals that got up and walked with his mat out the door! Well, I walked with a speaker to the gym! LOL! Its amazing how much grace God has given me during this time in life. I have made many mistakes in my life and God used those as life lessons, how he used those filthy rags to bring me closer to Him. In both the books, "Starving Jesus" and "What's So Amazing About Grace?" that I'm reading, I'm really learning to see how Jesus came for sinners and not the righteous. The thing is, guys, the world expects us to have it all together, to have it all figured out, to disregard the "losers" and get what we want! We are greedy, selfish people who only look after ourselves. The thing is Jesus says to His disciples, "The greatest must become the least", "The last shall be first" As Christians, if we are going to show that we are Christ-like and actually live a life of Christ, we need to humble ourselves and become servants, last in line. Servants of God to serve people. Its opposite of what the world says. The thing is, the world shouts its standards as freedom but yet, think about how much you strive and strive to do it on your own, maybe you have done it on your own and you are on top and life is great..until something happens and everything comes tumbling down. Everything you gained..you lost! Then what do you do? You lost what you had! The thing is, Jesus says, "Whoever saves his life, loses it. But whoever loses their life, for my sake, will find it!" When we come to Christ, we find freedom! There is hope in every situation! There is NO situation in our life that there is no hope in Jesus! Look at the book of Job! He lost EVERYTHING..money, family, house, yet..he remained faithful to God and he was blessed twice more than he had! OUR HEAVENLY FATHER PROVIDES! I want to encourage all of us to get down on our knees and realize Who are REAL PROVIDER is! I was freakin out the other night about a job after this one, but I KNOW God will provide! I dont expect to be rich nor do I want to be. I only want to be RICH IN HIM! That's where my real treasure stands! I don't want anything else by my Jesus! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!! He is the Man of my life and always will be! I'm telling you, Come to know your Lord Jesus! I know he is "invisible". But that "invisibility" is SO much more than the "visibility"!

Whoa, did the Lord rev up my faith!

This past week was really exhausting and well, I often question myself of, "How am I gunna make it til May!" I guess it could be I"m stuck in Indiana for this whole month, however, our schedule has been pretty crazy! Its actually really cool how Lindsey and I connect as co-workers and friends. When she's frustrated, I can calm her down and when I'm frustrated, she calms me down. We both don't take those frustations to heart because we know each other's heart well enough not to take it personal. Lindsey has to be one of the most understanding people I know. This past friday I was fasting and I was tired, a bit weak (fasted since wed.evening) and ready for the weekend. When I'm frustrated, I dont like to talk much because I dont want people to think I"m mad at them and I just want to be alone, but I communicated to Lindsey I was frustrated, tired, and apologized for being not such a happy camper, lol. The cool thing was tho, when we had kids help us set up, I realize all my worries, frustrations, and cares just go away. I can just easily pour into them...its like a relaxer believe it or not! I love working with kids, I realized more. Friday, was just one of those days where, "I dont know if I can keep doing this". But when kids come, I realized alot more that my heart is towards the youth. I want to work with them..maybe not just setting up and tearing equipment down the rest of my life, but somehow work with them and minister to them the love of Jesus!
I did about a 2 and a half day fast this week and boy, did God really show me alot. I really learned what it meant to fast. Inspired by the book I was reading, now I"m done with, "Starving Jesus", I realized a fast changes your life, and a fast with no change, isn't a fast! When we fast, we our asking God to have more of Him, where we are denying ourselves and what fulfills us, like food lol, and feeding off Him! In a fast, you totally hear from God, even when I was frustrated, the Holy Spirit was speaking to me to calm it down and make sure to communicate to Lindsey. I realized a lot about how I underestimate prayer and time with God, how I just maybe do it to make sure I"m doing it rather, than real one and one time with God. Fasting does really rid of yourself because you totally leave everything behind and come before God. What John the Baptist said, "More of Him and less of me!" That's my prayer!
My friend Drew did the fast with me, so that was cool to have accountability and seeing how God was changing His life. Seems like God was bringing Him into many opportunities of boldness. The crazy thing was, this past Saturday, Drew came to visit me in downtown Indy. So, Lindsey, Drew, and me, decided we would go chill at starbucks. While walking, a young black man approaches Drew and asks for some change. None of us had change and so he asked Drew about helping him get something to eat. So Drew said about walking to starbucks where he could get the guy something to eat. The guy didn't seem like he needed someone to buy food. He was pretty well dressed. The black guy, anxious and frustrated, kept trying to get Drew alone, having Drew ask Linds and I to keep walking while Drew and him would go for a "walk". I was NOT about to leave Drew! The dude, was getting upset because Drew would not go with him. Because the guy would not leave use alone, he walked to starbucks with us. We got in there and the guy says, "Man! I don't want this food!" Drew asked the guy to leave and the guy would continue to not leave Drew alone. Thinking this bartender was a cop, I asked him to help us. He was wearing an orange shirt..wow, God sure used my dumbness for something. He said he dealt w/ this stuff all the time and had Linds and I get in line with him. Mind you, everyone is looking at the black guy and Drew in starbucks. So the bartender gets in the convo between the black guy and Drew. The black guy, is cussing out Drew and the bartender. Then starbucks baristas are about to call the cops but the guy ends up leaving, Poor Drew! He totally handled it really well and remained calm the whole time! I totally believe God used some of his fast to prepare for that! When the guy left, we prayed for him and we were all shaken up. I got a word from God that the man was full of anger and greed, and that he was trying to mug drew in order to owe a debt for someone. I prayed over this guy's anger and greed and then walking back, we prayed and made sure we were around tons of people! What an experience! We were so thankful God protected us and that we got the guy to at least come to starbucks where I met the bartender there! Thank God for Drew's attitude towards the guy and the bartender! Drew was only trying to help. We were all so thankful nothing bad happened! This past week has been pretty draining, but I"m continuing to ask God for His strength which he has been faithful in giving!

I know this is long,... but JESUS ROCKS!!!

You guys! Seriously, my life has been changing so much! I feel like I'm in this season of "shedding old skin", coming out to be a new person, becoming more like Christ. My prayer is to constantly be transformed. Its that I'm not the same person I was a year ago, weeks ago, days ago, etc. God has been challenging me like non-other. I guess that is why I learned what patient endurance is for about 2 months to bring me to another part of what He is teaching me. I don't know what its like for boys, but speaking from a girls perspective, we struggle with self-image. I was struggling with questions this past week like, "Am I pretty enough?" "Am I good enough for a godly man?" "Why do I not have a boyfriend?" "Is there something wrong with me?" Those types of questions. Then the Lord spoke right in the midst of talking to a friend on the phone. He said, "Set your mind on heavenly things. Those godly men you are seeking that you think aren't pursuing you nor like you, they are seeking my heart. Its a good thing! Keep your eyes focused on me. I will bring it at the right time. I know your heart, Jessie. Just be patient and trust in me. These godly men are waiting on my timing." Then the Lord brings me to 1 Peter 3:3-4 which says, "Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes.You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God." I was able to encourage a few friends with this Word! I literally heard the Lord speak to me! God knows when we are ready for that, and the thing is..going into talking about my amazing book I have been reading called, "Starving Jesus" by Craig Gross and J.R Mahon (by the way, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this book!), there is work to be done! This book talks about living in the now, what the Church should be representing, how we should release self-centeredness, reaching the lost, and being a disciple. So often, we close ourselves off to opportunities because we are so scared what people will think, especially those as a church body. We are scared to minister to the unsaved due to what the worlds says and the reaction we may get. Pretty much, we are scared of failing. Have you ever thought that when we step out in faith, that isn't failing, its taking a step..its getting closer to the next thing God has for us. God is all about intentions of the heart, when we step out with the intent to glorify God, not ourselves, we need to release all expectations, and just go! Let God take care of the rest. We need to just act now! We are called to be disciples of Christ and that is not necessarily being a leader, but a servant. When we use the term, "in the world but not of the world" its not disconnecting ourselves from the world and hiding under a rock. Its going out, stepping out in faith and serving the unchurched, the churched, everyone around us! We need to be aware of whats going on around us and how God wants to use us to be part of the solution because WE ARE! Its putting ourselves last, and obeying what God calls us to do! For example, I have not been tithing, and honestly its out of selfish reasons and also because I do not have a home church. I was convicted of this other night and I asked God to change my heart and what I should do about it. He told me, once a week to bless someone, by maybe buying the person in front of you in line, starbucks, and telling them He loves them. Another thing that I have been learning is "offending like Jesus". Now, this is where I struggle. As brothers and sisters in Christ, we need to spur each other on..and by spurring..its not always going to feel good. I struggle with wanting everyone to like me. I know sometimes God will tug at my heart to tell someone the truth in love, and I ignore it because I want that person to like me. But shouldn't I be more concerned about the person's destination in eternity than whether they like me? J.R puts it in a good way in the book when J.R is talking about his friend Dave that brought him to Christ, "He brought me to the cross regardless of whether he hurt my feelings or offended me. He cared too much about my eternity and the quality of my life." Now, I'm not saying go out and tell everyone how sinful they are and how they are going to hell. I'm talking about telling the truth in love. When you establish a relationship with someone, there are going to be times where you need to speak truth! There's a difference..truth being absolute truth which is the solid Word of God that distinguishes righteousness and sinfulness and then there is where we put our two sense in of what WE think is right or wrong. For example, we could tell someone, "Your voice is horrible! Dont' sing! you suck!" DON'T do that! However, if you have a friend that is, for example, caught up in pornography, and either is a christian or not, now the conversations may differ, but to let them know, they can be free from that. That that is something they don't need in order to be fulfilled but direct them to the Father. The Father draws them, all you need to be is the tool, the truth tool...speaking the truth and then let God convict them. Don't force or shove things and drive them into the ground until they scream "UNCLE" but to know that that is something they can be set free in when they come to Christ. People need to know why we believe and serve an amazing God and how a life apart from Him, does suck! I know this is long but I want to encourage you guys to step out in faith, to obey the Lord when he calls you to act out, to live in boldness because God did not give us a spirit of timidity or fear, but a spirit of love, power, and self-discipline! Just to end this, I learned somethings in James 3:17..just like the fruits of the spirit..I call them fruits of wisdom, "pure, peace-loving, gentle, willing to yeild to others (patient), merciful, good deeds, shows no favoritism, sincere." You can evaluate wisdom by the way a person acts. In proverbs 27:19 it says, "As a face reflected in water, so the heart reflects the real person." Are you living a life that is following Jesus? Where you deny yourself, take up your cross, even to the point of death? Are we waking up every morning, submitting our life to Christ, where we are constantly ridding ourselves? Love you all! Jesus rocks, and continue to serve Him!
Hey! Linds's Dad...for you...do the indian accent! lol

doubts, tired, but God gives strength

So this past week, made Linds and I SOOo tired. Considering, being home last weekend and this week, her and I ate SOO much food. We gotta chill out on the sweets! I'll get into more of that later. The cool thing is, I was experiencing some doubt shortly after a friend text me they had doubt. I started having doubts about who I am, what I'm doing with Camfel, my self-image, personality, etc. Well, I was talking to another friend on the phone about it, shortly after I had some Jesus time, and I was explaining to them what I was going through. And then literally God spoke to me, right in the midst of me speaking to my friend. It was soo cool! Besides the doubt of what I mentioned just above, I was struggling with a doubt of if I'll ever have a man in my life who is passionate about God, loves God and everything I have been praying for in a man, if not more. Well, God knocked me over the head with that one, He pretty much told me not to worry about it, and he knows the timing. Now, I know that sounds simple, and more like, "uhh..duh Jessie" but if you could experience what I was going through at that moment, it clicked and really uplifted me. It uplifted me so much I shared with my friend, Dorina and Lindsey! At the same time, the friend was experiencing doubt that texted me, got uplifted and filled right at the same time I did! NOW HOW COOL IS THAT!? How are God can take care of all of us at one time! I was so encouraged that night! The thing is, God never leaves us nor forsakes us...even in our toughest situations, where it seems impossible, like we can not continue on, or we doubt we are good enough, or whatever it is, God comes through. Sometimes not in the ways we expect him too. I'm learning so much about patient endurance. Again in my last couple of blogs, patient endurance is enduring the time of being patient...yes, its hard! But you need to persevere because that is the time of growth! Patience is a hard thing..but "patience IS virtue". And during that patient time, that time of endurance..think of all the opportunities you have! Its super crazy! We have to choose to see the positive in every situations, to "MAKE THE MOST OF EVERY OPPORTUNITY" eph.5:16..and sometimes in certain situations, you do your best, and then you gotta leave it alone and give it to God. I wanna encourage you brothers and sisters, to seek the Lord in every situation, endure the patience that you are under in testing, seeking, growing. Make the most of the situation you are in..you can choose to your attitude, and the attitude you have effects your choices, and your choices alter your life!

Traveling and Ministering

So I'm having the most amazing time, even though I'm traveling through Indiana for the next 2 weeks. Lindsey and I are having so much fun together, getting to see things and stopping at random places we have never been before. We stopped at this Fair Oaks Farm in Fair Oaks,IN to see a cow farm! We ate all kinds of cheese and had real homemade ice cream..I had choc.chip! MMmmm..mmmm! Then we walked around this farm and we saw this street light looking thing that has red, yellow, and green. the red light was on that said, "nope" meaning no cows were being born..I guess you can see a live cow birth at this farm. Linds and I were pretty bummed we didnt get to see one, but at least we got ice cream! We stayed in bloomington,IN, right near IU and stayed at a friend's house then headed to Muncie to stay at another friend's house and we walked around the Ball State campus, where my bro went! We went through the broadcasting building, the Letterman building,I saw his award and the fact too, he was standing right next to David Letterman during the dedication ceremony of the Letterman building. We had a set-up today and about to do another one. 2 funny stories and Linds has this up on hers too! A girl came up to Linds and said, "Was that 2nd to last song Toby mac?!" Linds says, "yes" "Oh my gosh" she says, "he is so cute! I saw him at king's island and he is SO hot in leather!" hahaha! so funny! and then we were loading up our van and a tampon falls out from the back and a middle school boy helping us load says, "Is that what I think it is??" Linds replies, "YUP!" ahaha!! Kid says, "Thats just not right." LOL Oh man, kids crack me up! I really do love what I do! I love talking and ministering to kids! I love the fact that everyday is an opportunity to show Jesus in someone's life! I'm at McDonald's and a guy asks me about what Camfel is. I tell him, not saying anything about "christian" and he asked what my degree is in and I said Youth Ministry and asked where I went to school. I said Bethel College. He said, "So are you a Christian?" and I said, "yes I am!" and he said, "Praise God!" He ended up telling his old lady friends about me and it was cool because they were interested in what I was doing and encouraged by my faith! I want to be an encouragement to others! I want to show kids in the school, people we randomly come in contact, friends, family, that there is hope! There is someone who cares about every detail and that is Christ Jesus! In Christ, ALONE, our hope is found! He is our rock! Rock meaning a firm foundation! I'm really learning more and more what it means to let ministry be rest, Hebrews 4! My life is devoted to the Lord, my purpose in this life is the name of my blog, "To know him and make him known". Our life is a journey to better knowing Christ, being a servant and a friend. Guys, God is not complicated as the world makes Him out to be. He's not about rules and condemnation. He is a loving Father, a Friend you never had, a Hero in every situation, a Master who takes care of His servants. He is all we need and I'm telling you, if you feel like you are not good enough. If you are beating yourself down because you feel so unworthy..trust me, i know. Everytime I make a mistake I beat myself down. Satan gets me to think I can't get back up..that I ruined my chances. I often feel like with friendships, for example, if I do something on accident to hurt a friend, or I make a mistake with a friend, they will leave me. That is why I"m always afraid of conflict, because in the past, people leave in conflict. So when I mess up with God, I still have this concept God will leave me..but God says, "I will NEVER leave you nor forsake you!" How often we need to cling to those words. Yes, people, at times, leave, no one is perfect, people will hurt us, and we will hurt them..but we must show forgiveness and mercy, we must admit when we are wrong and accept forgiveness when others have wronged us. I encourage you guys, to seek the Lord, continuously..never give up on Him..because he NEVER gives up on you!

After a good weekend,..into a good week..

Well, from wednesday to sunday I was able to spend some time at home! Oh man! SOO good. Went back to my old Bethel College to go to chapel (though I was late) and was able to eat some lunch at the typical SG (sufficient grounds) with some friends, walked around campus and saw all my friends! It was soo good to be home! I went to Hacienda twice in less than 24 hours (my mother is obsessed, lol) and had a nice party with my friends! Got to hang out with the fam! Made some delicious apple pie with my dad and then made one on my own..seriously..this pie is amazing! Its called, "Annie's Apple Crumb Pie"..SOooo good! My new partner Lindsey helped me peel and cut the apples and we made the pie for my friend Robbie whom we were staying with sunday night down in Indy because we had a show. Yes, I'm pretty much in Indiana for the next 3 weeks! So our show yesterday in Plainfield,IN went SUPER well. Our set-up was amazing and we got to hang out with some kids. After the show, we had a few kids come up to us to tell us how they really enjoyed "Dare to Move". Seriously, God really speaks to these kids through this video. Today, we were in Hobart,IN which is right near Merriville, a girl came up to me after the show. Her name was Jackie, and she poured out her life to story to me. She was telling me how she gets teases and bullied alot in school because of the way she dresses. She lost her dad and her grandma within a few days of each other right before her 12th birthday (she's in high school now) and saying how she got into cutting and how she use to be into witchcraft and stuff. She was telling me how our videos really touch her and she cries because she can really relate to the kids in the video being interviewed. I was so taken a back when she started pouring her life out to me. I was like, "ok, God..help me! I dont know what to do!" but God said, "Jessie, just listen to her...you can't fix it..but you can listen..it shows you care" So I tried to not have that feeling of "I gotta do something!" and just did what Jesus would do..what he does to all of us, listen. Jackie just wanted someone to here her out, because the bullying she goes through, the cutting, her being homeless before in her life, people judging her, it sucks. I didn't have a Jesus talk with her but with my actions and listening..I was being Jesus to her..by the grace of God! I hope this girl really comes to know the Lord, because He is the only One who can fulfill, who can satisfy, who can quench our thirst, our every need! Jackie is engaged to what seems to be an amazing guy, but I was thinking when she was telling me all the stuff she went through, she is going through this for a reason..I really believe it is for one day she will know Christ as her Savior. I pray that she will! She was a sweet girl and you can tell she is searching for significance in her life. I love what i do,guys. I love talking to these kids and people in general. I'm so thankful and pleased God is working in my heart because He is more and more working with me to have kingdom eyes and a compassionate heart like Jesus did when crowds would come to Him..in the Word it says, "He had compassion on them". His heart bleeds for us, guys! He loves us so much! I always say this..when you look at the ground and you see an ant, its so small..we don't care if we step on them. They're billions of them everywhere. However, to God, we are as small as an ant, there are billions of us..but does he squash it and think, "ehh..but there are billions of them." No! He cares and loves our little ant lives. He cares about our issues that seem so big to us and so little to him that he still cares about them! He wants us to give those to Him!! What a loving, caring, awesome God we serve! No one, No thing, No anything can ever top our God! Our creator wants you to be apart of His book..His will! A life of freedom and everything we need! We can get it all through one source...Jesus!! Mmmhmm! Praise the Lord!