so far my journey in Exodus....

So I have been reading through Exodus the past 2 weeks or so now and I'm at chapter 16. It was one Sunday leading worship at our youth group that I felt the Lord wanted me to read in Exodus. Had no idea why, but it kept coming to me. The Lord has been just loading me with so much He wanted to tell me! I never got so much insight before. Its like I stepped up to another level of hearing the Lord. So I would like to share a few things with you what I have been learning. It amazes me how the Lord is sovereign. In the beginning of Exodus, it talks about Moses and a bit of his background. Moses was Hebrew/Israelite. Back when he was born, the Hebrews were slaves to the Egyptians. Now, Pharaoh wanted all the first born Hebrew baby boys killed because he didn't like how many Hebrews there were. Sounds like the Holocaust to me. I mean there's a "back in the day" Hitler. Anyways, Moses mother, being the brave and trusting in the Lord woman she is, made a basket and sent Moses down the Nile river so that he may live. NOW!! This amazes me..the SOVEREIGNTY of the Lord...how in the heck did that basket not tip over or some crazy fish or animal get into it?? Or how did it not get stuck on some rock and Moses just die to death because of no food?? THE LORD!!! The Lord is in control! He has a plan!! He guided that basket right down the river into the arms of Pharaoh's daughter! NOW HOLD UP!! What?! Pharaoh's daughter? Uhh..Hello!! Her dad basically wants this kid dead! God, what are you thinking?! Again, God's sovereignty. He softens Pharaoh's daughter's heart to care for Moses. This leads to him growing up around the Egyptians to then free the Israelites! God heard the wailing of the Israelites in slavery for many years...However, He had the perfect timing, the perfect person, and the perfect way to show His power, love and majesty! Now, the Lord calls Moses when he is a bit grown-up now to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. We know a bit about the story of the burning bush (if not, DON't Fret! Just read Exodus 3 or just start reading exodus.) Moses felt he was inadequate to do a job like that because of his speech impediment and how he gets tongue-tied. I know how that is. The Lord sometimes calls me to speak in a confrontation and its scary but He gives me the words. The Lord chose Moses and Aaron to approach Pharaoh to "LET MY PEOPLE GO!" and Pharaoh, who has no fear in the Lord and has a hardened heart towards the Lord, refuses. But Moses and Aaron do not give up despite all the times they came to confront Pharaoh because they had faith the Lord had their back. They were just called to be a vessel and be obedient. The Lord took care of the rest. I can talk about so much on here and I"ll just to be more consistent with my posts, however, the Lord is always in control. So many times he is showing me that the reason things happen the way they do is, despite the fact that we do have free will and bad things happen because we live in a fallen world, He is in control. We freak out so easily when one thing seems sketchy! Like the Israelites when they escape out of Egypt and they see the Egyptians coming up behind them, they freak out. And before then when the plagues happened because Pharaoh would not release the Israelites, God protected them from all the plagues He sent to show Pharaoh that He is Lord. The Lord parted the Red Sea for them! He provided them good water when they reached Marah because the water was first bitter but then they complained, "AHH! we're going to die! We should've never left Egypt!" Ye of little faith! We believe this lie that "only good things happen once". NOT TRUE! Or.."oh its a coincidence!" NO! There is no such thing! The Lord provides, protects, leads, the ones He loves! He loves all of us, but its our choice to be obedient and listen! Just because things may seem out of whack or uncertain, if we commit our ways to the Lord, we will succeed (Proverbs 16:3)! Maybe not in our way, or our timing, but we will overcome whatever the obstacle is! When God calls us to do something, it is going to be something we cannot do. BUT! He can do it through us! God does tasks that only God can do. However, He wants us to join him in it so he uses us to accomplish His will! So when the Lord calls you to do something, don't focus on how big the task is, but how big God is and how he is going to accomplish it through you by you being obedient!

Discipline brings out Integrity

Have you ever just been so frustrated why things just don't work out? I bet you have. We all have. There are times when I'm like, "Come on, God! What the heck?! Why isn't this happening?!" or "Why is this happening!?" Its so funny how we think we know what is best for ourselves. We often think, "If only I had this...". But the truth is, that may not always be the best for us. Think about it, if I gave you a HUGE bag of M&Ms and yeah, you could eat the whole thing in one sitting and you would probably enjoy eating it. However, the side-effects wouldn't be as enjoyable. You would probably be pretty sick. Probably would be in the bathroom the rest of the night. You see, things that we think may be good for us, aren't always. "All things are permissible but not beneficial" I believe Paul talks about that somewhere in Philippians maybe? Now, I'm not saying that all our wants are bad but we just have to make sure it does not get in the way between us and the Lord. Jesus must come first in our life. Hebrews 12:1-2 says, "..let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the CHAMPION, who initiates and perfects our faith." When something comes in the way between us and God, we need to throw it off. Now, me being a huge NOTRE DAME fan, (Yes, they are #1!!!), is not a bad thing. However, if I put ND in front of God by maybe thinking about ND way more than I think about God, or if I refuse to do something that God is calling me to do because ND is playing..then well, I need to recheck myself. God has made a humongous sacrifice through Jesus to call us to a life a abundance. That is the race He has set before us. Now, its not an easy life, but its a life that we may be truly fulfilled that nothing else could ever fulfill. Yes, even ND winning the championship can not compare to the life fulfilled God has given us. Though, it would be a great addition! :) With that life, comes discipline. In Hebrews continuing on in verses 5, 7 and 10 respectively, "...don't give up when He corrects you", "As you endure the divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own child", and "But God's discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in His holiness". These verses are to show us the truth of God's discipline in our lives. Its not to make our life suck. Its not to hurt us and to make life no fun. Rather it is to make life more fun and make more of a "well-rounded" life. God wants us to be free and not slaves to addictions, feeling that "I have to do this or I"ll die!!" or "Well, in order to be cool or gain respect or popularity, I have to be this way or do this." God's like, "Really?? No you don't! You're life is going to be way more freeing, way more abundant, and way more awesome when you choose to follow My path I have for you." I promise, guys, I would NEVER go back to my old ways. Yes, I trip up sometimes, but what do you do when you fall?? You get back up! God isn't like, "Oops! You messed up! Get out!" He's there to extend His hand to you, pick you up and get you back on His path for you. Don't think its too late! Its too late when you're dead, but you're not so turn it around! God loves you so much! He loved you so much He died for you so you can have this abundant life. Don't give up, guys! Keep seeking, keep knocking, keep asking, and He'll reveal Himself to you more and more and more.

Complacency

I have been trying to get up an extra half-hour earlier to spend time with the Lord. I'm really trying to discipline myself. Sometimes, its funny how when we do something for so long, we just go through the motions. We become lazy and it has no meaning. I kinda feel like that lately. I just am going through the motions. Maybe because I've been busy but the thing is BUSY is Being Under Satan's Yoke. God never intended us to "busy". At least too busy where we do not spend time with Him. The thing is, we don't understand that we don't have time NOT to spend time with Him. Its so critical in our life to spend time with Him, to know Him, to seek Him. Especially this day in age, there is so much crap going on its ridiculous. Thank God, God is gracious and merciful and most of all patient. I guess what I'm getting at is, we can't afford to be lazy and complacent. I'm not going to lie, I'm guilty of it. I was reading in John 15 this morning. Lately, I have been going through Proverbs but this morning I felt the Lord leading me to John 15. Jesus talks about how He is the vine and we are the branches. How apart from Him we can do nothing. We can't bear fruit, we can't produce fruit. We are basically dead apart from Him. Now God comes and prunes the plant. He takes off the dead branches that are not producing fruit and prunes the ones that need some shaping up. I NEVER want to be a dead branch. I always want to remain enact with the Vine.I feel like if I did not have Jesus in my life, its like my air supply is cut off..I CAN"T LIVE WITHOUT HIM! The thing is, its possible for us to become so lazy that we fall off. Paul talks about in Philippians I believe, "working out your salvation". Now, its not based off works but its about staying true to our convictions, where is our heart? When the pruning comes, this keeps us cleaned up and shaped up. Yeah, it sucks when we are getting "pruned" but the Lord talks about "disciplining because He loves us". He prunes us because He wants the best for us and does not want anything in our life that will hinder us from Him and having an abundant life. I guess as sheep, we don't understand that sometimes. All this to say, is that it is vital we seek the Lord. It is vital that we come to know Him and seek Him! When you experience the Lord, you'll never want to go back. You become free from all the things you thought were pleasurable but it was only the world and Satan deceiving you saying it was. God has so much more for you than you can imagine. He loves you and wants you to experience a relationship with Him that will change your life. Don't let laziness get in the way! Seek, Knock, Ask...you'll truly find!

Answered prayers!! God Hears us!

Do you ever have those times where it seems like God isn't listening? Maybe you have been praying for something so long and its just like, "God..what the heck?!" I know I've had those times. Especially when I want something. I sometimes don't understand why its not happening at this moment. I'm thinking, "what am I doing wrong?..Do I not hear God's voice?" Often times, the Lord uses patience to test us for endurance. Its not that God doesn't hear us, but its that He will answer it when the time comes. Now, don't get me wrong, we have to have a relationship with Jesus. It can't just be, "God give me this.." and then we go off and do our own thing. Jesus always prayed, "May YOUR will be done." That is how we ought to pray...not our will but His. So tonight, we had our family bible study. I have not been there in awhile since I moved into my apartment but in case you don't know, my mom's cousins started a bible study for our family members. The Lord told them to minister to our family and its been going on now for maybe 3 or 4 years. So tonight, we had a discussion about the rapture and giving our life to Christ before its too late. Now for 6 years I was praying for my mom. Since I became saved, I never stopped praying for my mom. I knew she wanted to know the Lord but did not want to give up on her traditions. However, tonight she said, "I want to surrender my life to the Lord." SAY WHAT?!!?? Lord, did you just answer my prayer?!? My mom wants to give her life to the Lord!! PRAISE THE LORD!!! My mom has always been my rock since I was born. She never left my side, even when I came to the Lord, she was definitely confused about it, but she never deserted me. However, tonight she now is beginning to realize what I began to realize 6 years ago. When you pray, pray with faith. Just because it does not happen now, does not mean it won't happen at all. In James 5:16 it says, "The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results." When we pray, we make a difference. The Lord wants us to come to Him and make our requests known. But we have to have the attitude that He is sovereign and whatever happens it is in his control and we must trust Him. Sometimes we just want things our way at that moment, however, God knows the hearts of ALL men. He knows when is right time. You guys, I'm just so stoked on how the Lord loves! Seriously, if you do not know Him, I pray that you come to know Him. Read the scriptures! You will know Him through His word and then you will experience it for yourselves! Just like my mom did! He wrote a love letter to you, so read it before its too late! He will come!! He is coming!! He wants you to come to Him!!

The Journey of Life: Maturity

For some reason, that word, "maturity", has been coming up many times for me the past month or so. It has been subjects of conversations, sermons, as well as my time with God. Maturity is not a destination, its a journey. Its a process. Its not something we just can obtain by asking, but having to go through the process. Its kind of like when we grow physically. You aren't just going to be 6 foot right away. Its a gradual process. You first are like 19 inches long, then you move up to 2 feet, 3 feet, etc. until you hit 6 foot. Or like, me, you only reach 5 foot 3 inches :/. Yeah, that's my destination with height. Not that height determines your maturity, but it determines your character. I was having some time with God this morning and I've been pretty anxious about a couple things in my life. Even to the point, I cannot get much sleep. I was reading about "Wives" in 1 Peter 3:1-6 and it talked about wives submitting to their husbands and how wives should be having a gentle, quiet spirit and not having fear. Now, if you know me, I'm a pretty out-going, class-clown, pretty joyful person. Yet, I also know how to get serious when it needs to be. Now, I was thinking for the longest time, "OH MAN! do I have to be this quiet, introverted person!?" NO! God doesn't want you to change your personality, but what He meant is, do not be anxious. Don't be dominant and over-bearing. Just let things happen as they happen. Oh man, is that hard for me. Yet, to be honest, just within this past year or so, I have grown in that area. I have matured. God got me to a place where I could not do anything about my situations except submit to Him and pray. Now, there is something I desire so much in my life and I'm not sure why it's not happening. However, I know its worth the wait. God gave me this analogy today and I would like to share it with you. Legos are a fun, good thing. Every boy at least loves legos. Me, being a girl, I loved legos as well. I grew up with my older brother playing them and my younger brother is obsessed about them. Now, if you give a baby or a toddler legos under 5 years old, it would not be good for them. They don't know how to use legos and they might choke because they tend to put everything in their mouth. What I'm trying to get at is, legos are not a bad thing. However, you need to be at a MATURE age to use them. Same with how God hold back his blessings or gifts for awhile. They are good gifts and he gives us the desire to have them. However, its important we hit to a point of maturity where we can handle those blessings or gifts. We have to go through the growing pain of reaching maturity. And the journey of growth never stops. Even when you are 80, you are still learning. Don't think teachable moments as a bad thing, but think of it as a growth of maturity. God wants us to grow in the maturity of Christ which then will we be reaping treasures that will never be taken away from us. The more we grow in the maturity of Christ, the more we will live the abundant life He intended us to have and the essence of that is knowing Jesus! That is the biggest reward in life is knowing the Creator of the Universe. I know sometimes, I take that for granted and I get so caught up in what I'm doing, I set that time aside to know Him. I"m guilty of it. However, that is why I'm going to get off now and talk to God for awhile. I hope this encouraged you and shows you that there is Someone who care about you and loves you! Trust Him for He has great plans for you! :)

War

Its been so long since I have blogged and I apologize. I have a new job at my college, Bethel College in Mishawaka, IN (my hometown) as an admission counselor. God totally hooked that up! So I definitely have some good stuff to tell you! ....I just don't know where to begin...HAHA! Anyways, God is just so amazing. This summer has been such an amazing, growing, humbling time of my life. You know those times where maybe things aren't working out, and you don't understand why? Maybe something fell through or you got blamed for something you didn't do (I know how that feels...)? But then later on you realize, "I get it!" That's been my summer. Since I moved back from Kauai, its been tough. Ain't going to lie. My life has changed tremendously. New life, new friends, new place to live. Its been good but hard at the same time. Some friendships are still there, some are lost. However, I trust God has a plan and He definitely revealed that to me lately. I feel like the past 8 months just have been one thing after another. I got to a point when things would go good, I would just be waiting for things to go bad. It was hard for me to have a good perspective. Until one day, I was meeting with my awesome mentor, and I was like, "This is so stupid! Satan is trying to steal my hope and joy!" Joyce Meyer also was a great impact of encouragement. But she was saying how important it is to cover yourself with God's Word. Everyday you are fighting a battle. Physically or spiritually. We need Truth to get through our day. Truth is not a concept, its a Person. And that Person is Jesus! When we do not clothe our self with Him, its like going out in a war zone with no protective gear, no bullet proof vest. Now, how many of us would do that in a war zone, like Afganistan or Iraq? Guaranteed we would be putting 5 bullet proof vests, buckling our helmets, bringing as much ammo as we could! Why do we not do that in our daily life? We are in a war! We are fighting against lies, false accusations, Satan and we need Jesus to get through that. Jesus has overcame death by the cross. The victory is won! However, you choose if you want to be on the winning side. You choose if you want to live a life of victory or a life of defeat. Now, most people think living a life victorious in Christ is rules and no fun. However, if you truly know Jesus, its not! You realize the things of the world are rules, standards, cultural settings that we have to live by in order to fit in. With Christ, we are free of all that. Living a life abundantly in Christ is such amazing freedom! The war is already won, however, you choose if you are partying with Christ or chained-up, losing with the Enemy. Jesus wants you on His side, and He invites ANYONE who is willing to come over. Get to know Jesus. His hand is extended out to you! Its up to you how far you want to go.

Steady my Heart

Have you guys listened to this song called, "Steady my Heart" by Kari Jobe? She is a christian singer but you should definitely look up this song when you get a chance on youtube or whatever. Definitely pay attention to the lyrics. The second verse that says, "I'm not gunna worry. I know that you got me right inside the palm of your hand. Each and every moment, whats good and what gets broken, happens just the way you plan." and then the chorus goes, "Even when it hurts, even when its hard, even when it all just falls apart. I will run to you cuz I know that you are lover of my soul, healer of my scars. You steady my heart." The second verse just hits me. Everytime I listen to this part, even the whole song, it speaks so much truth to me. Seems like lately, things were coming along in my life then..all of a sudden, everything came to a halt! I'm thinking, "Come on, God! Seriously!? I have been waiting so long and now its crumbling?! What did I do now?!" Its not easy to not over-think, to not worry, and to stay calm. Trusting God is not easy! It can be frustrating, shaky, and difficult. However, its all I got. No one, or nothing can give me grace and have me "in the palm of His hands" like the Lord does. When the second verse says, "whats good and what gets broken, happens just the way you plan." I really try to cling to that as truth. God is sovereign and He is in control. I'm not going to lie on here, I have been wrestling with God lately, asking Him, "Ok, God seriously, you are being like every guy in my life, misleading it seems. Give me something here that you haven't forgotten me!" You know when you are watching a baby, or maybe you have a child of your own, and you are making its bottle and its freaking out on you because you set them down and they are crying, thinking you forgot them. You are just making it's bottle. You have not forgotten them! God is doing the same. God's like, "Jessie! Chill out, I'm making the bottle! My plans are in the making..its timing!!" Its hard being patient. Especially how I feel right now, like nothing is happening in my life. I thought I saw some light, but now I'm not so sure what that entails. I thought I had an idea but not sure what to think now. Yes, people are going to hurt you, you might get blamed for things you didn't do, you get misunderstood, but the Lord is going to fight for you! Lately, since things kind of feel like they fell apart for me, I'm thinking, "What did I do?" But the thing is, I confess and apologize for the wrong I know I've done but the rest you have to leave up to God or if it is dealing with another person, you have to leave that up to God and that person. Maybe, like me, you are waiting to hear on a job, or something like that, and it's taking forever! You want this so bad, but we have to trust that God has it! In the chorus of the song "Even when it hurts, EVEN when its hard, EVEN when it all just falls apart, I WILL RUN TO YOU! CUZ I KNOW that you are lover of my soul, healer of my scars." God is the only one that can take care of this. He is the only one that can "heal your scars", heal you from your past hurts and to keep you moving forward. God loves you and He wants His best for you! I don't know why things fall apart but God knows what He is doing and He wants His best for you! Nothing can mess up His plan! The thing is, this is a hurting world, we are all hurting people, we all hurt each other. However, we can choose to join God in forgiveness and kindness. Either way, whatever side you are positioned in, we should forgive and let God take care of the rest. We were probably that person one time before that we were really angry and took it out on a person who wasn't even the root of an issue. I've done that. But if you are a person who got unjustly accused, forgive that person because they are hurting. Jesus calls us to follow Him. Its not an easy road. Its literally denying all our "rights" we think we have as humans and dying to ourselves putting Jesus first and being called to Love. Love is not about fairness. Its about putting others above yourself, keeping no records of wrong, forgiveness, patient. Read 1 cor. 13. Kindness leads to repentance. God is so kind, I am led to my knees to repent by how awesome his grace is. I am a sinner and I need Him. Though, I may not understand God's ways..and I may get frustrated at times, I may question what He's doing and get mad...but at the end of it, I have no right, no reason, for Him to say He does not love me, because He gave up the most precious thing, His Son, to die on our behalf. How many of us would even give up our dog or our playstation, for another? Exactly! God gave up His ONLY SON! God loves you. He is NOT out to get you when things go wrong. He doesn't just hate you. He loves you! And once His best for you! Just trust He will lead you, defend you, help you, guide you! But most of all, trust Him that He loves you!