My world turned upside down..into God's.

The Lord literally turned everything I thought, upside down. I never realized how sometimes God needs to just have us face things we don't want to face or shatter dreams in order for us to get to a place that HE is the only fulfillment we have in life. I'm moving back home in December..at least for now. I never knew how long the Lord would want me here so I'm actually having a lot of peace about it so far. I thought it was to help with this church but honestly, at least from what I can see now, it was to face myself, face things I didn't want to face, and to touch the lives of people out here through it. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways. I never knew how much I put my worth and "marbles" (if you will) into people. We see in many different scriptures how God warns about trusting man over him. Especially one in Gal.10 "If we seek the approval of man, than we are not a servant of Christ." For a long time, even before I was a christian, I always had to seek approval from my parents and friends. I always wanted people to like me and think I"m this awesome, super person. I wanted affirmation! I never sought that in God. I cannot tell you right now I am completely cured of that, but since living out her for 6 months, the Lord brought me to my knees to deal with that. See, you guys, if we seek worth in people, in our jobs, in money, in materialism, basically anything other than God..its all meaningless. Read the book of Ecclesiastes! Solomon was the most wisest man ever, but wisdom alone wasn't enough for him until he sought his life in the Lord. We all walk around on this earth, searching for our purpose. Maybe some of us our asking, "Why am I here?". Why are you here? Those who believe in evolution, ok, lets just say we did come from nothing into something from a big "Bang!" you still wonder your purpose, don't you? You still wonder what the point of you living is? We all have desire to know our purpose and once we open our eyes to the Lord, we can see that purpose! Slowly, but surely! We all desire to be in relationship. But the one that is most fulfilling is the Lord. Being out here I never knew how much I put all "marbles" into relationships out here, BEFORE putting it in the Lord. I thought people could make me happy..so instead of serving God, I was serving people. But the cool thing is, the Lord still used it! How awesome is his grace! :) Let me tell you this, when God gets you on your knees, surrendering, I'm telling you..its not easy, its hard. You can't see clearly, but in that moment you think, "ahh this is so hard what do I do!?!?" That is the moment to be still. Let him take that sliver out of your skin and in order to do that, you NEED to be still.
I went to visit my friend, Jeff, this weekend over on Oahu. The Lord not only blessed me but opened my eyes to that fact that HE LOVES ME! I'm still trying to grasp it but I was just having such a hard time deciding what to do, if I should stay out here or go, but the Lord kept revealing to me that its not about location, its not about where you are at..its about what you are doing with where you are at...are we loving God and loving people?? THAT is his will! I was SOO encouraged this weekend by my friend and his church! Also, the waves on the North Shore were so awesome!! God calmed bigger waves than those 15 footers..thats like a atom to him! LOL God knows what is best, He knows what He is doing. All he asks us to do is to be faithful..to trust Him, be still before Him. Just do what He says which is in his Word, and the rest will come into play!
"Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart's desire" Psalm 37:4
and how do we do that?
"Seek FIRST the Kingdom of God, and all things will be given." Matthew 6:33
and how do we do that?
"You must love the Lord God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself" Love God, Love others..Matthew 22:38

You tired yet?

I don't know about you guys, but maybe some of you who are reading this just feel exhausted about your life..maybe what you are doing in your life, or chasing after in your life. I know how you feel. I feel like I have been trying so hard to manipulate situations to make them go my way. Being self-centered and selfish is literally exhausting. I try so hard to do things my way, focus on my wants, my needs, my future. God is like, "really?". I focus so much on, "What is your will for my life God? What about me!?!" Isn't God the Almighty so amazing and ominpresent that he can see me, too?? He can see you and me at the same time and be totally engaged in our conversation with Him. I'm so sick of chasing after acceptance and love when I need to know I have an amazing Lord, God of the universe who loves me and accepts me. I don't have to go chasing Him down like as if he is running away from me. He is coming towards me with arms wide open and saying, "Come to me! I love you!" Why don't I believe that? Why don't we believe that? Maybe its not in the way WE want it to happen, or we don't literally see that. But isn't God above the seeing? He is so powerful in so many ways we don't see! That's how powerful and amazing He is. I'm not gunna sit here and lie to you guys, but I have been struggling so hard lately. I questioned so many times if God loves me, cares about me, or if he even exists. That is Satan's stupid crap to get you alone and attack! Don't let Him. Though truth may not be in the seeing, it is real. A really cool example my friend Ronnie used in his sermon yesterday was, "When you go on a plane, do you ask the pilot, 'were you drinking? did you get enough sleep? are you an actual pilot? Can I see proof?'" No! we don't ask that! We trust that the pilot is a pilot, that he hasn't been drinking and that he is not sleepy. We HAVE FAITH, WE BELIEVE, without even thinking too much about it that we will arrive at our destination. And the funny thing is, we are more likely to crash with a human pilot than we are with God! With God, WE WILL NEVER CRASH! You guys, this came to my mind today while I was listening to a sermon...for me, I have been worrying so much about my life and a certain relationship..that I finally give up on it. Letting go and letting God. I thought today, "Do I really want to keep living this way until the Rapture? Worrying, trying to work things out my way? Or would I rather live my last days here on earth worshipping, loving God, loving others and showing them Jesus? I find so much more joy in the latter than I do the first part. God does not want us to worry. He does not want us to try and figure things out, but He wants us to prepare. Prepare for His coming and the only way we can do that is knowing Him. God's plan for my life is the same as yours...
-Pray without ceasing
-Give thanks in everything
-Rejoice always
-Submit to authority
-Avoid sexual immorality
-Be saved
-Be filled with the Holy Spirit
That is God's 99% will for our lives...the other 1% (occupation, where to live, who you are going to marry, etc.) will fall into place if we just focus on those things..and how to do those..is to know and fall in love with Jesus. I'm so guilty you guys, I suck at this so bad..but I'm doing my best to follow it. God knows we are not perfect, but he sees us as perfect through his Son Jesus by accepting Him into our lives. God sees us as perfect when we acknowledge we are sinners and need Jesus..that is perfection in God's eyes, not what we do. When we acknowledge that, we automatically want to do God's will.

The Lord works everything for our good...

I love how the Lord always knows whats best for us..always working for our good. The thing is, its not always what we think because honestly, I don't think we always know what is the best for us. Lately, well, I was doing this fast for 2 week, I fasted just doing veggies n meats, then just sugar..and now I think the Lord released me. The reason being is because I was like a prodigical (however you spell it) son coming home. For awhile here, my focus was just off with the Lord. I put Jesus kind of on the back burner, I think. I was chasing after things I thought I would fulfill me. One thing, which I have always had this problem since high school, was finding my identity in people. Meaning which, who I hang out with, how often, making sure I am doing something all the time with people...to sum it all up..accepted! When doing this fast, I thought I would like let go of desires, maybe like getting married, or like finding this job position, but honestly the Lord had different plans. It was letting go of my identity in people and finding it in God. I find so much worth in feeling popular and accepted. We all want to be accepted! We all want to feel loved and that people like us and that we are the coolest thing on earth. Well, back at home, I felt like I had that. But when the Lord sent me here, he stripped it away. I do admit, God gave me a gift of making friends very easy and very fast. However, here, it was a bit challenging and took some time. However, the Lord put an amazing group of friends around me here. I really had to lean on him for that. The thing is, I thought I could come out here and do things my way..psshh. Lets just say..in a showdown between you and God..guess who is going to win...I believe the Almighty Creator of heaven and earth will. Why would I even battle? These past 2 weeks, I am finally beginning to see Jesus as my acceptance..that is where I truly need to find it. Yes, we need people and fellowship around us to support and encourage us, just like He made the body, but truth and love come from Jesus. Seriously, I was thinking today..it has always been my dream to do ministry in Hawaii and surf. Now, I am ACTUALLY doing it! Maybe not how I thought would be, but I am doing it! I mean, surfing took me 4 months and now I'm FINALLY getting the hang of it! The Lord is helping me in so many ways, and I haven't even took the time to realize it til about now. Thank you Lord for all you do! Keep trusting him, church! Keep seeking him! Trust the plans he has for you, and not your own...he has a plan, and it won't kill you...but bring you life! Maybe the plans you have that you are trying so desperately to workout and you are probably getting exhausted and tired..like I was, are killing you..and the Lord is like, "You done killin yourself kid?..I'll revive you whenever you're ready."..He's waiting for you! Now run to him! :)

Seeking the face of God

I don't think we often realize how important it is to seek the face of God. I don't think we realize that we really miss out when we don't seek the face of God. You see, the world has such a corrupt mindset. It can twist the truth so bad where we even feel its the truth. God's truth is beyond feeling..its reality. Its solid truth. The world's truth wavers and eventually becomes a lie. God's truth stands firm. It never wavers, changes, nor comes short..it comes all the way truth. Its something we can rely on and it won't fail us. God never fails us, even when we fail Him. I really realized how much I get caught up in what I think is truth. How the world can corrupt my mind. So often, out here, I think, "ahh! what am I doing! I don't have a position!" Well, maybe my position is to just pour into the sheep God has put around me to feed. I always get corrupted my the world thinking, "I need to make this kind of money." or "I need to have this job, or this position!". The thing is..the way I grew up isn't the way I want to live. I thought having alot of money, having a big house, a family at 24 is successful! No! Whatever God's will is for my life is "successful" and "successful" to him is being faithful! Success in the world's eyes is abundance of worldly crap...where success in God's eyes is seeking after His face, storing our treasures up in heaven, such as working for him, doing his will, bringing others towards him. Our true position is in the Kingdom of God, not this world. I have many desires of this life. I want to be a wife, who loves her husband, supports him in everything he does, submits, raise her children in Christ, opens our house to everyone, and know that the love of God is there and they can experience that. I want to be the Proverbs 31 woman so badly and I just realized tonight, that though I wanted that, I was doing it my way and not God's. I want to be so lost in God that nothing else matters, not even my circumstance. I know God will bring me the desires of my heart because my life is dedicated to ministry. And yes, I have been sucking at that so bad but God is a God of second chances. He has placed his desires in me and I know my calling its just a matter of timing! God created me to be a one of a kind woman of Him, just like he created you to be a one of a kind woman of Him or a man of Him! God has a plan for our life! Lets not do it our way..it just leads to more anxiety and unstability..but lets just surrender and do it His way. Silence yourself before the Lord, Humble yourself and pray! 2 Chronicles 7:14 "Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land." He will restore your life! :)

God wants to give you Kona Coffee...I'll explain...

I have no idea why..well, maybe I do..but I have been soo tired. I mean literally guys..I'm a grandma....I go to bed at like 8:30pm. I really think its b/c with my job at Starbucks I open all the time which I need to be there at 4:15am so I get up at like 3:30am. Please pray that next week God gives me the strength to get up and have energy b/c I open 5 days next week and I feel like my body is already worn down. Anyways..I have been really learning this past week or so what it means to let go and let God. I guess desiring His will even when you don't know what it is. In our bible study last Wednesday, we were talking about what it means to have faith..and how do we apply it. Having faith is easier said than done. Jesus said, "if you have faith as small as a mustard seed and you say to this mountain, "Move!" it will move!" Ok, so what does that mean? I mean..I'm not going to lie, I looked at mountains before as thought..what if I could move this mountain like Jesus talks about. In Heb. 11:1 it says, "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see". Key words in there..sure and certain. Do we have faith..as small as a mustard seed in situations that arise? "Faith..is being SURE of what we hope for and CERTAIN of what we do not see" In my NLT translation it says, "Faith is being sure of what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance of the things we cannot see". We cannot even see what will happen in 5 minutes so every one of us needs hope in this life. I don't care who you are..we need hope! We need to know there is joy at the end of a trial! No, not all things will turn out like we want them to but do we can have faith, as small as a mustard seed, to trust God that whatever happens is for the good and that there is joy at at the end. In the book of James, James deeply expresses that every trial has joy (James 1). Maybe when Jesus talks about having faith in the Lord to lift the mountain, maybe we put the faith in ourselves that we can move the mountain and it doesn't move..or maybe in another way, the mountain moves, but not in the way we want it to. So therefore, we think it didn't move. I don't know, I could be talking smack but its something I'm thinking about. I'm going through a situation where I have no idea what is going on in a particular circumstance. Everyone is telling me to just turn my head and separate, but I just don't have peace about it. I don't know why but I can't. The Lord keeps telling me to pray and wait. Wait upon the Lord! We hate to hear the word wait. Especially in America, we get everything now! I think of some customers at Starbucks..not all, but some, that hate to wait and are so anxious. Taking this as an example, a customer walks in...so anxious, they want there coffee now! Like speed of lightning. Well at starbucks we want to make the customer happy but we are all about quality. So the customer is anxious and just wanting their coffee now. However, they don't want Pikes Place, they want KONA! And Kona is our amazing 100% Hawaiian coffee that is so rich in flavor. Kona is not brewed in an urn, it is poured over..where we put the grounds in a funnel and dump hot water over it to make it fresh! It takes maybe like 3 minutes. But this customer doesn't want to wait for the better coffee, they want coffee now, so b/c they are so anxious..they settle for Pikes Place and walks out. The get to their car and is upset b/c its not as good as Kona but b/c they refused to wait..they got pikes place. Sorry, coffee is always on my mind b/c of work lol! But what I"m trying to say is, wait on the Lord. Saul never waited on God for the commands and he became a mad man and caused chaos..David waited on the Lord and brought success in ways David probably ever could imagine. Kona and Pikes could be represented in many ways in your life, a situation, a person, maybe a situation/person being "pikes place" to becoming "kona". But whatever it is, God wants to give you Kona coffee!! (you catch my drift) but you have to wait! ITS ALL IN THIS TIMING! That "3 minutes" for "kona" to be done will be worth it! But the MOST IMPORTANT thing to do, is PRAY! Talk to God, seek Him, KNOW Him, when we wait, we become desperate we seek! Have faith that He has the best for you in mind, even when it doesn't seem like it! No matter what others are telling you, yeild to what He wants you to do, not what others say..I don't care if they are Christian. You hear the Lord. I think of this song I sing in the car by this artist named Coffey (how ironic..)he says, "Be still and know that He is God. I trust in You with the desires of my heart.." and the song is called Wait on the Lord. how funny!

Isaiah 26:9-11

Hey sorry its been so long. Been busy! I realized lately that I don't keep my priorities straight..especially with God. I let so many things distract or consume my mind that it can easily distract me from tasks the Lord has given me. What I am going to talk about in these next 3 verses go along these lines but lets dive in.
"(9)All night long I search for you; in the morning I earnestly seek for God. For only when you come to judge the earth will people learn what is right. (10)Your kindness to the wicked does not make them good. Although others do right, the wicked keep doing wrong. (11)O Lord, they pay no attention to your upraised fist. Show them your eagerness to defend your people. Then they will be ashamed. Let your fire consume you enemies."
verse 9: This is where my priorities are sucking right now. I have been on this spiritual dryness and its no one's fault but my own because I have not been in the Word. The Word is where its at. We need the Word to refill us, replenish us, its our daily bread Jesus' says. When you notice something is missing, for example, your cell phone, don't we frantically look for it?! We turn our house upside down and our cars! And we realize we can't find it we freak! Why is it that we put some stupid object, and don't get me wrong, I'm preaching to myself here, too, in front of the Lord. I'm not saying its wrong to have a cell phone but we don't get our priorities straight as humans. God is the only thing that bring hope, that bring strength. He is what we need to survive! We don't get that. I know I sometimes don't. I mean I can be this prideful christian sometimes going through the motions, and honestly, I HATE IT! I want to challenge both of us, to wake up in the morning and pray..even if its for a minute.. talk to God. Guarantee it will change your life, one minute at a time. Will you join me in this? I need help to do this, too. I'm a hypocrite who needs Jesus, too! God is soveriegn and He knows what is best for us.
verse 10: Now, Isaiah the prophet is praying for the people of Israel for all the wrong they are doing. How they are not turning to God, because they believe they got it all together. Oh my gosh, who does that sound like? God loves us so much that though He may get angry with us, His kindness is what draws us to Him. The thing is if we don't fear God, which we will get into in verse 11, we take God for granted. We mock Him, and insult Him. The God of the universe, the God who gave you life! Check out this clip..its 18min so hopefully you got some time..this is what the Lord did for you...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjSio8jur2Y
verse 11: God wants to defend us, He wants to help us, He wants to be in a relationship with us. We as humans are so prone to just do our own thing. We think we got it together, we know everything..sounds like how we talk about teenagers, yea? They are no different than us as adults! And if you are a teenager, I didn't mean that as an insult but just that adults struggle with that too! The thing is, fearing the Lord does not mean to be deathly scared of Him where you are afraid to come to Him, but to be in awe of Him, to know that He has the power to give and take away. That He is God of the universe. To show reverance. I don't know where you are in this life, but you have a purpose. I discovered more of my purpose when I laid my life at Jesus' feet and said, "Take it!" and its something I still am working on today. Jesus came to give life abundant. He gave us life as a gift to enjoy..not to hate. There will be trials yes, but if you lay your life at His feet, you have hope! You can overcome any situation in your life through Him. Just trust Him, trust what He tells you to do! But in order to know those things..we need to do what verse 9 says, "Seek!" Seek Him in all you do! Get to know Him! Just like anyone else. In order to trust someone, you need to get to know Him. And believe me, He has alot to offer..and He offered His Son in exchange for you to have life...would you give up your son or daughter for someone else's life? yeahhh...lets think about that.

Isaiah 26:5-8

So continuing on with the Bible Study..we are in the next 4 verses. Dudes, before I begin..I ask for prayer. I have been struggling with just ministry in general. I talked to a friend a couple days ago from home and him and I are just so confused on how to be intentional with ministry. I seriously think I make things more complicated than it should be. I do so many things or say so many things I shouldn't. I sometimes get so hard on myself b/c I fail a lot of times at being a Christian. We as christians need to be vulnerable b/c NO ONE has it together, NOBODY!!! We can only have it together through Jesus...but we need to rely on him and this is what the study is about today!I'm not any better than a non-Christian..I just claim I need Jesus!
Isaiah 26:5-8 (NLT)
"(5)He humbles the proud and brings down the arrogant city. He brings it down to the dust. (6)The poor and oppressed trample it underfoot, and the needy walk all over it. (7)But for those who are righteous, the way is not steep and rough. You are a God who does what is right, and you smooth out the path ahead of them. (8)Lord, we show our trust in you by obeying your laws; and our heart's desire is to glorify your name."
Ok, there is alot in here, so again, lets break this down.
Vs. 5, 6-->Have you ever came across someone just super arrogant? So stuck on themselves? Or maybe like you have been in a relationship where you felt trampled on and like no matter what you told them, they wouldn't listen to you or maybe they kept putting it back on you? The thing is God will humble all those who are proud! He has your back and the revenge is His. Now there are 2 different prides..those who boast about themselves, and bring down others. And then there are those, who live life on their own and do not let God, and then there are people who have both. God will humble all who are prideful. Now, I'm not hear to be preaching to you, b/c I struggle with pride. I trip up all the time! I have those days or weeks, like this week for example, I get so tied up in my days that I put God aside and depend on myself. Or feeling like I have to make it work. Are you kidding me?? There is no way I could "make things work"! We have to realize we are humans...just puny little humans. To God, we are like ants! And as humans, what do we think of ants? We think, "They are so small, their life is so useless..I can just step on them!" God chooses not to think of us in that way. We, as little ants, have such precious lives b/c we bear His image! He looks down on you and says, "You may be a little ant, but you have SOO much purpose and SOO Much worth..that's why I will not destroy you b/c I love you!" God could choose to wipe us out and to destroy us..but his love for us is SOO strong! Its kinda like as a parent, you love your kid so much, even when they are a pain, you still love them! God values you so much! God is going to take care of every little thing in ant-of-a-life. If you choose to wait upon him and trust him! "The Lord will fight for you! You need only to be still!" Exodus 14:14
Vs:7-->I don't know exactly where you are at in your life. However, life is tough. Life can be a....I won't say it, but not necessarily a "beach" all the time. Its hard, and there are quite a bit of people that give up by taking their own life. I want to encourage you that no matter how hard things get, and I mean NO MATTER how hard things get, like you may feel like you are drowning and you don't know if you can live anymore..God has you if you just trust Him by being patient, praying, asking, seeking! His hand is right underneath you ready to catch you if you would just let yourself fall in his arms. Have you ever fallen backwards into a group of people's arms..like some rock stars do at concerts or something?? God wants you to do that in His arms! It won't be easy but there is always joy in it! Everything you go through has a purpose. We may not see it right away, but there is a reason! Make your life count! Without God, your life is meaningless. Not to sound mean, but that is the truth. What are you living for? People fade, money fades, family, spouses fade...but the Lord never fades. And I'm not saying to not invest in relationships or be lazy or anything,but everything in this life is a gift...and it can easily be taken. You were meant to live forever, where will you choose to be forever?
Vs. 8--> When you love someone, do you want to hurt them? Maybe, your siblings drive you nuts and you want to punch them in the face sometimes..the thought might come across. Or maybe your spouse is driving you up a wall you want to say some mean comment to them and "put them in their place"..or maybe your boyfriend or girlfriend is being ridiculous so you wanna seek revenge and do something back to them to make them realize you're right...whatever it is deep down, we don't want to hurt them because we love them. We just let pride get in the way. Jesus says, "If you love me, you'll obey me." When you are in love with someone, you don't want to hurt them. However, we are going to hurt the ones we love. I claim to be a christian, yes, I love Jesus, but do I obey him? Not all the time. I suck alot of times at what He calls me to do and I stall, or I disobey..and I sin! I"m a sinner! However, Jesus paid the price for the punishment I was suppose to take. Jesus took the spanking, if you will, that you and I deserved for disobedience. Doing wrong, needs a punishment, but Jesus took that huge one for us! However, think of it this way, when you hurt the one you love, and don't you feel bad? The same thing with Jesus, when we disobey him, we should come to repentance, and He is ALWAYS apt to forgive. But why do we unforgive others? No one is perfect! Remember...NO ONE has it together! What makes us better than anyone else that we would not forgive? Now I know there are certain situations where a trust was broken and it will take time, but we need to forgive b/c it lets us off the hook as well. We don't carry that burden! I'm going off tangent, but I know for me, my heart's desire is to glorify Jesus..to serve Him, worship Him. Why?? Why would I waste my time doing that? B/c He "wasted" his time taking a severe aweful punishment for my sake so that I may have life b/c He freaking loves me and I freaking love Him!!!! (Though I suck at showing it sometimes.) Life after this life and I won't have to spend it in a HELL of a place. He did the same for you! Jesus loves us that much guys! He is the God of the universe that CHOSE to incorporate us ants into His life! He is a God of love! He wants you!
This might of been muffled, but I hope the Holy Spirit gives you understanding! Its all about Jesus and knowing Him. The Word is the manual of how to live life..we do have directions! Just trust Him! :)