What if????

Let me tell ya, since deciding to go home I have been an emotional wreck! I love it out here, I love the people, however, I do feel like my time is up! I get scared though going back home because I'm going to start out working at starbucks still but I'm thinking, "oh my gosh, what happens if that all I do!? What happens if I never get out on my own again!? what if..WHAT if..WHAT IF!" God's like, "What if?? What if, what? Am I not God that I can't handle the 'what if's??" Slap in DA face! Its amazing how we freak out, we rely on ourselves. I mean would you put your trust in a person who freaks out? I don't think so. So why do I trust myself when situations seem "What if!?" You guys, I have been so emotionally, physically tired from the last time I blogged on here. Worrying and self-centeredness is exhausting because all you do is try to make things happen that you have no control over! Its like trying to make it rain! And please don't tell me you can control that. Apparently some tourists here think the hotel employees can..pssh! As if! The thing is, we cannot freak out over things we have no control over. When we have decisions to make, we just need to go by the peace of God and trust the consequences of those (good or bad) that the Lord will use that and help us. Now, I'm not saying, "get drunk or don't get drunk" and then think "oh i'll just get drunk and it will be ok b/c God has me" OBVIOUSLY, getting drunk is a sin and not something God wants us to do. However, when it comes to a decision that is not sinful..whether its like staying where you are at or going somewhere else..think of your intentions, think of where your heart is at and ask God for direction. However, its like taking a leap of faith of making the decision and trusting the Lord will take care of it. Leaving it up to him. If we are seeking Him, He WILL NOT let us outside of His will! He's not there to trick us, but to lead us! Don't worry about the "What if"s..and i'm talking to myself here b/c I struggle with that! Lets trust God and let our love for him overflow on others and I"m sure the "What if's" will take care of themselves :)